Phenomenon
by AProfoundQuiet
Summary: Katelynn Crelnald is vacationing in England... and happens to stumble into Wonderland! What will happen as she becomes the second outsider in the Country of Hearts?
1. Prologue: Releasing Fidelity

Prologue  
Releasing Fidelity

"She's been in Wonderland for almost a year now... My affection is still only one-sided!" A rabbit-eared man cried at a floating figure. "You said she would love _me_, Nightmare!"  
"Peter White... _Green_ does not look good on you." Nightmare snickered, before growing serious. "That was, as you said, almost a year ago. The future is never set in stone... Also, she is the only one who controls her emotions. Besides, you are extremely intimidating." Nightmare stuck out his tongue.  
"Eh? Alice is my only love... and now you're telling me we won't be? What a heartbreak!" Peter fell to his knees.  
"Hmph, she's a single girl. There are many more fish in the sea." Nightmare dazed off, trying his best to find another possible lover for Peter. Though he found his sadness amusing, he wasn't one to be cruel.  
"Maybe there's still time..."  
"A pure heart... _That's_ what you need." Nightmare smiled.  
"Excuse me?" Peter asked, but he could feel already that he was about to wake up.

~~~

"Katelynn Huetta, hurry yourself along! It's a simple dress, a party... Can you _please_ put a d-mn smile on your face? This is _not_ a form of torture, you're going to have fun!" Mother ranted on... but I was barely paying attention.  
My family only came to England because I'm on Summer vacation... Which is when my cousin's birthday is. She's old-fashioned, and ordered her birthday party to be a tea party- the boy's dressed nicely and the girl's in dresses.  
I opened my door slowly... to reveal that my mother wasn't there. Happily, I raced down the stairs and out the door, tripping several times over myself. Ignoring my stupidity, I headed for the back garden. England was a grand, beautiful place. Unlike my background in America, which was small, though long, England backyards held vast gardens. My backyard had a pool, a shed, and an old swingset.  
When I felt I was far enough from my family, I pulled myself onto a low branch of a tree I pulled myself onto the branch above, and looked toward my temporary home. Everyone was busy with setting the party up.  
I sighed, about to step down from the branch, and the tree altogether, and return to my duties. But, my foot caught onto the branch, which sent me falling backwards. Unobservant as I am, I didn't notice the abyss grew in my temporary backyard.  
I bit my tongue to keep from screaming, as the entrance became smaller and smaller. Did this hole ever end? Did I want to know what was waiting at the end? Or if I'd even live to see the other side...  
Soon, white light blinded me- as if I wasn't dizzy from falling upside-down; my head was first to meet with the pavement. Unlike when I first arrived in England, and literally kissed the ground, this reunion with the earth was highly unpleasant, as I blacked out.


	2. 1: The Feeling of Fluke

Chapter One  
The Feeling of Fluke

"Julius, we should do something! That's a nasty bump!"  
_ Huh?_ I thought, my head hammering. The girl's voice wasn't loud, but despite that, it still made my head hurt. _I must have dozed off... or something. The voices, they don't sound familiar..._  
Against my head's wishes, I opened my eyes; in reaction, I groaned- it was _bright_.  
"Oh!" A blonde girl cried. "You're awake. How are you feeling? I'm making you some tea now."  
I sat up quickly, causing my head to spin. Who was this girl? Where am I?  
The blonde girl came back, handing me my tea. The aroma was delightful, but I was afraid to take a sip, for I had never had tea before... Looks like today would be my first, wherever I was.  
Suddenly, an older man with long, deep purple hair popped out of no where. I jumped- my normal reaction to minor startles.  
"Hmph. Aren't you interested in knowing who we are, where you are?" The man asked. I quickly blushed, too flustered to say anything.  
"You can be so cold sometimes!" The girl said to her friend, before turning to me. "I'm Alice Liddell, and this is Julius Monrey. You're in the Country of Hearts, in Wonderland!" Alice smiled.  
"Don't you recognize her, Alice? She _is_ from your world." Julius retorted coolly.  
"I don't know everyone on Earth, Julius!" Alice put her hands on her hips, before turning toward me. "What's your name?"  
"Katelynn Crelnald." I blinked, was I hallucinating? _Wonderland_? That world Lewis Carroll created... with white rabbit's in waist coats, and mad hatters? _That_ Wonderland? I must have a concussion... this can't be true.  
"Tomorrow, you should show her the other territories. Explain to her what you know..." Julius turned to me. "You can stay here until you want to go somewhere else. This is the only neutral area of Wonderland- Alice will explain tomorrow what I mean. This is a dangerous world for an outsider to be left in the dark. Rest for now, I'm going back to work." Julius left the room, his final comment pointed towards Alice.  
"There are three territories. I'll show you tomorrow- be ready!" Alice winked, then left herself.  
They seemed like good enough people... Alice and Julius... but should I trust them? I guess I have no choice... If I really _am_ in Wonderland, I have no where else to go... Maybe, I'll wake up before Alice... 

"Katelynn, time to see Wonderland!" Alice called.  
I lifted my head, it felt like I had only slept for a few hours... Not that that was uncommon or anything. What time was it? My head groggy and my body screaming against my decision, I followed the direction Alice's voice had came from.  
"Ehh? Alice, what _time_ is it?" I asked quietly. What time did I fall through the abyss?  
"Hmm? Daytime! We should hurry- I'm not sure what or when the next time period is going to be!" Alice smiled, grasping my hand, leading me out the door.  
"Wait- wha-" The door slammed behind me.  
"Let me talk a bit, okay?" Alice winked. "Wonderland's time is absolutely random- it could be three in the morning, then four at night. Like I said... random.  
"Wonderland is currently in a triangular civil war. The Clock Tower, where we stay, is the only neutral area. But the Hatter Mansion, Heart Castle, and the Amusement Park are all in a struggle for power." Alice grimaced. "You'll see that people aren't afraid to pull out their guns in this world."  
While listening to Alice, I took in my surroundings. Wonderland was _beautiful_- and far less chaotic than depicted in movies and stories.  
"Aaaalice!"  
I jumped, as a sudden voice called to Alice. I saw her cringe, and in my instinct, took a step back into the shadows. I gasped as I did- a tall, white-haired, spectacle-wearing, bunny-eared man hugged Alice.  
"Urmf! Nmmm!" Alice's cried were muffled against the man's chest.  
"Peter, sorry to interupt, but I think you're suffocating her."  
I felt my heart pound fast with the anxiety of seeing yet another stranger. However, this boy had pink hair, and had cat-ears and tail... _and_ was dressed like a punk... A style I missed dearly.  
"Eh? Alice, love, are you alright?" The bunny-man named Peter cried, seeming astonished.  
"No! Quit _hugging_ me! I told you time and time before, I don't like you!" Alice turned toward the pink cat. "Thank you, Boris."  
Boris grinned. "No problem, Alice... Alice?"  
Alice was searching wildly, for which I expected was me... But I stayed in my hiding spot. I was far too afraid to meet these odd, but cute, strangers.  
"What'cha looking for, Alice?" Boris asked.  
"Not a what... a- There!" Alice pointed.  
_ Crap_, I hid behind a tree. Why'd you have to yell like that, Alice?  
"Katelynn, how come you're hiding?" Then, she seemed to back-track. "Well, Peter's kind of freaky... actually, _very_ freaky, but Boris is great! Come on, I told Julius I'd show you Wonderland, and that includes the inhabitants!" Alice grasped my hand, and dragged me from my hiding spot. "Boris! This-" Alice pushed me toward the punk-cat. "Is Katelynn."  
Boris leaned forward and stuck his tongue out and licked his lips. "You smell good! Just like Alice- you must be and outsider like her, too, right?"  
Frozen, I could merely nod.  
"Nice to meet ya!" Boris stuck out his hand, having leaned back. I shook it, and forced a smile. He seemed nice enough.  
"Alice, Alice! You must come to the Castle sometimes soon!" Peter cried, grasping her shoulders.  
Alice shook him away. "To see you? Pass." Alice smiled apologetically at me. "Boris lives at the Amusement Park, while Peter lives at Heart Castle. Just thought I'd warn you, the Castle is that way, so you can avoid him." Alice pointed in the direction where a grand castle rose high into the sky, and then at Peter.  
"Aww, you wound me so, Alice!"  
I blushed, glancing at Peter. My heart pounded with fear that he would catch me staring, but he was too busy doing his own staring- at Alice, of course.  
_ I don't think I've met someone so in love..._ Suddenly, my heart missed a beat, my whole body shaking at the jolt, my hand grasping at my heart. _Not as in love as..._ him. I shivered, and pushed the thought away.  
"Katelynn, are you gonna become permanent at the Clock Tower with Alice and Julius?" Boris asked.  
"Er, if it's alright with Julius and Alice." I fidgeted uncomfortably under Boris' unflinching gaze. "I mean, I don't have anywhere to go, but as of now, they haven't kicked me out..." I murmured.  
"If they ever kick you out, you can stay at the Amusement Park with me." Boris winked.  
"We aren't going to kick her out! Jeez, make me and Julius out to be terrible people, Boris!" Alice rolled her eyes.  
"Am not! I'm just _saying_." Boris' ears flattened against his head, ashamed.  
To myself, I smiled. How fun it must be to live at an amusement park! _Six Flags and Canabie Lake Park were always so much fun... I wonder what kind of rides Wonderland's Amusement Park has?_ As I thought about it, I shivered. They were probably very outlandish.  
"Are you from where Alice is from?" Boris asked.  
_ He seems alot more friendly and ineterested in me than Peter_, I thought sadly. "Uhm, well, in a sense." I answered as vaguely as I could.  
Boris merely smiled.  
"Ugh, Katelynn and I should head back to the Clock Tower." Alice groaned, and I flinched- Peter was back to hugging Alice.  
"What? Don't leave, Alice!" Peter cried unhappily.  
"I have to agree with Peter on this one... you two just got here!" Boris frowned.  
"I can't take much more of Peter." Alice mumbled, and I frowned. _Poor Peter._  
"Alice!" Peter cried, hurt.  
_ His love... It's sweet... pure, and strong- despite the constant h-ll Alice seems to put him through._ I grasped my heart, as it began to hurt again. Glancing at Alice, the sign of distaste was clear- and it was personally nothing new to me. _Was it really just one month ago that I was in Peter's spot? No_, I shook my head. _My love was not as strong. I gave up too quickly after my heart had been broken again. Peter... he trudges on, even though the odds are against him._ I smiled through the pain- what an admirable quality.  
"Let's go, Katelynn- looks like I'll have to show you the territories tomorrow! Bye, _Boris_!" Alice grasped my hand and waved to Boris with the other, deliberately ignoring Peter.  
"Bye, Alice! Nice to meet ya, Katelynn!" Boris grinned, waving, seeming to forget not moments ago that he didn't want us to leave.  
I waved to both Boris and Peter, but Peter didn't notice me; he was too busy staring desperately after Alice. _Do I compare Peter to me? Or is Peter more like... him?_ I felt my heart race, what if Peter _was_ like him? That would mean...  
I shook my head, shaking the thought away. They were two different people.  
Alice and I were walking back to the Clock Tower in what seemed to me an awkward silence. The silence only grew, and as it grew, so did a deep gash near my heart, so I made an attempt to break the silence. "Alice, did you really have to be so rude to Peter? He seems to really like you, and he seemed really hurt when you lashed out at him." Probably not the best topic, but interest gnawed at my brain.  
"If only he fell in love with you! _Then_ you'd understand what a creepy, slimy stalker Peter really is! Bleh, he makes me sick!" Alice exclaimed, making a face that proved her distaste.  
Alice pulled open the door and let go of my hand. "Julius! We're back!"  
Julius appeared, with glasses on. "Did you really show her all three territories in such a short time? I thought you'd be gone all day."  
"Well, no. Actually, I didn't show Katelynn any of the territories." As Alice said this, Julius' jaw dropped. "What? I introduced her to Boris and Peter, but _jeez_, I can only take so much of that rabbit!"  
Julius narrowed his eyes. "Be sure to give her a proper tour tomorrow, then." With that, he left, I imagined for work.  
"Right!" Alice called after Julius, then turned to me. "I'll make tea! Make yourself at home."  
As I waited for Alice and the tea, I tried to imagine what the territories would look like, but to no avail. I could never paint a picture with my imagination, lest it came from words... After getting bored of failing at imagination, my mind flew to my friends. The friends... the ones I wasn't sure I had, the ones I wasn't sure I'd ever see again. _Wait... don't think like that... The characters may seem real, but this is all a dream... At worst, a hallucination._  
"Sorry for the wait!" Alice smiled as she handed me my tea, and I smiled back.  
"No wait at all." The scent alone of the tea intoxicated me- it was heavenly! However, how it smelled didn't assure how it tasted, so I was still hesitant.  
"So, Katelynn, can I ask about your life? Your friends, any boyfriends?" Alice smiled slyly at her latter comment.  
Although I knew she was merely curious, my heart still ached. "N-no... No boyfriend." I stuttered, staring at my cup of tea intently.  
"Crush?" Alice asked, and Peter's face came to mind.  
_ I must be stupid,who has a crush at first glance? Not me, never me._  
"A-actually, I just fell out of love." I glanced nervously at Alice, before whimping out, and staring back at my tea. I took a sip quickly, the cup hotter than the tea. The liquid went down hard- the taste black and blan.  
"What happened?" Alice whispered, genuinely interested.  
I froze, her question tearing at my heart... But, I had to answer, I had to. I turned my attention to Alice, forcing a smile. "Well, it happened about a month ago. I was still in school then... though most people were heading home, so the halls were basically empty.  
"His name was Carsyn. He was my love for two years... as well as my best friend. My friend, Hazelle, told me to tell him to his face how I felt. She hated how I was always hurting because of Carsyn. Hazelle just wanted me to be through with Carsyn... It had been a long two years, for Hazelle and I.  
"I had basically kept my love a secret from him... If he was hurting, I was there. If he had girl problems, I was there. I always tried to be the best friend that I wanted to be. Apparently, I wasn't.  
"'Carsyn... I-I love you.' I remember stuttering, glancing nervously at Hazelle, who was near me. I... I didn't miss the flash of anger in his eyes... His beautiful green eyes...  
"'Yeah, I get it. I'm the only guy for you! You're head over heels for me! Well, guess what, Katelynn? I _hate_ you! You're so f...ing annoying! _I'm_ in love with _Karime_, not with you! It's never been with you... why won't you get over yourself?'" Even as I retold the event, I flinched. The glittering animosity in Carsyn's eyes would never die from my mind.  
"I think it was after he said that, that he punched me. Then he walked off, mumbling... something. Hazelle took me to the school nurse, and... I tried my best to get over him." I glanced at Alice, to see her eyes clouding with tears, and I flinched again. "I wouldn't have told the story if I knew it was going to upset you."  
"He... Carsyn... He's so cruel! Such hateful words... and what kind of man hits a woman? No man!" Alice exclaimed.  
"Hmph." Was all I could manage, thinking of how often I was chased, how many "men" tried to pulverise me on a daily basis.  
"I-I'm sorry. I wouldn't have asked, had I realized it was such a painful memory." Alice frowned sympathetically at me.  
I shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Like I said, I'm working on getting over him." _Maybe faster than ever before..._ "Besides, you didn't know. That's why I told you." I glanced at the window, and noticed it was pitch black outside. "It's... dark out. I think we should get some rest if we're going to roam around Wonderland tomorrow, right?" I asked, forcing a smile.  
"How about I just show you one territory a day? That should take the stress quite a bit... right?" Alice smiled. "Where should we go first? The Amusement Park, the Hatter Mansion, or Heart Castle?" Alice asked, though she grimaced at the mention of the Castle.  
_ Although I wouldn't mind seeing Peter again..._ "How about the Amusement Park? Boris lives there, right?" I asked, smiling at the thought of the punk-cat.  
"Yeah, we could go pay Boris a visit!" Alice jumped up from her seat, cleared the tea cups, and came bouncing back. "Off to bed! We're going to the Amusement Park tomorrow!" Alice grinned, heading up stairs to her room.  
I followed more slowly. Although I felt I made a bit more of a connection with Boris than with Peter, I still wanted to see him again. Then again, it was far too early to decide if I truly was friends with Boris, or if I actually had a crush on Peter. It was far too soon for me to already have a crush... This feeling must be a fluke.


	3. 2: The Amusement Park

Chapter Two  
The Amusement Park

_ "How would you feel if those green eyes you love so much, faded away? Your blood-red eyes were met by one's true... How would you feel? How would you feel?"_  
I woke up with a jolt. Rubbing my head, I tried to remember my dream. _I used to remember all of my dreams... Maybe, when I wake from_ this _dream, I won't remember anyone._ I grasped my heart at the lonely thought. _The people... they're kind, however, I feel it would be far more painful if I remembered this dream._  
I stood up and walked out my bedroom. Today, I would visit the Amusement Park, as well as Boris, with hope on our side. I frowned, tilting my head to the side as I headed downstairs. It wasn't a good sign that I was wishing to see people. That would just make it harder, and if I remembered- painful, to wake up.  
"Great, you're up!" Alice smiled. "Would you like a cup of tea before we head out?" Alice's voice was warm and kind, contradicting the cold stare that Julius was giving me. _Did I do something wrong?_  
"Uhm- no, it's fine. We can head out whenever you're ready." I murmured softly, glancing anywhere but at Julius' had gaze.  
"Mind your safety, you two." Julius murmured before turning away.  
"Later, Julius!" Alice cried.  
"Thank you." I muttered under my breath.  
"I think you'll like the Amusement Park the best. The rides are fun, and you've already met Boris... Gowland, the owner, is a bit psychotic, but then again, so is everyone in Wonderland, at least a little bit..." Alice explained. "You'll have to excuse Gowland when you meet him... You'll see what I mean." Alice stopped and waved her hand toward a shiny, sparkling fantasy land for rollercoaster lovers. "We have arrived! Lets go find Gowland and Boris." Alice stepped into the Amusement Park, and I saw that it was filled with people- I gasped.  
_ Nobody_ had a face.  
My heart began to pound. Was this normal? I glanced at Alice, who was smiling radiantly, making me conclude that this was, in fact, natural.  
"Alice!"  
I turned around to see Boris along with an older man waving to Alice. Shyly, I took a step back- but Boris had spotted me, so he jumped towards me and gave me a hug. "Katelynn! You came to visit the Amusement Park first? Alright!" Boris gave me a quick lick, which left me stunned, before stepping back. "Welcome to the Amusement Park, Katelynn! And Alice, welcome back." Boris grinned, then glanced as his partner caught up to us.  
"Alice, hello! I see you brought a friend- a second outsider?" This man, who I expected was Gowland, asked me, and I merely nodded. "Splendid! Would you like to hear a song?" Gowland asked, leaning towards me.  
My heart pounded. Music? I listened to music _religiously_ back home- I haven't heard any since I was in America! Each day that passed, I surprised myself by not detoxing. "Sure!"  
"Ah! Wrong answer!" Boris exclaimed, blocking his ears, Alice doing the same soon after.  
I glanced back at Gowland, who had taken out a misshapen violin. He smiled, then started strumming the violin, adding a singing melody after. I understood why Boris and Alice both had their ears plugged- Gowland's voice was scratchy, and compared to his violin playing, which was random and out of tune, together made a harmony that was far out of sync. However, I couldn't bring myself to block my ears. That was not only rude, I thought that, if Gowland had some major tutoring, could actually be okay at the violin, and with his vocals.  
When he finished, he smiled and awaited for my anwer. "What did you think?"  
"I think my ears are bleeding, Mary." Boris snapped.  
Gowland's eyes suddenly blazed, and I immediately took a step back. Who was Mary?  
"Umm, Gowland, I thought it was... okay. Obviously amateurish, but okay." I smiled apologetically.  
"Eh? Merry-go-round, you must have made her tone deaf." Boris stared at me, then at Gowland.  
"Uh... Merry-go-round? You mean... the ride?" I asked.  
Boris grinned and snickered, before explaining. "Gowland's full name is Mary Gowland. Doesn't it sound like Merry-go-round?"  
After a few moments pause, I got it. I started laughing lightly. "Oh! I see it now. How funny!" I smiled, then turned to Gowland to see his eyes blazing again.  
"You dirty stray!" Gowland cried.  
"Oh? What's the matter, Gowland?" I asked, uncomprehending his sudden rage.  
Gowland froze, and turned toward me, but didn't say anything. Boris was the one to answer. "Gowland hates his first name. Don't you find it silly?" Boris asked, cocking his head.  
I blinked, trying to find something silly about the name "Mary." "Uh, no, not really." Suddenly, I was embraced by a laughing Gowland.  
"What a sweet, sweet girl! Thank you, thank you!" Gowland cried, and I flinched at how loud and how close he was.  
"Gowland, I wouldn't scare away your new girlfriend." Boris rolled his eyes, and tugged me out of his grasp. "Did you two come to ride the attractions? The rollercoasters are the best!" Boris declared, grinning at the thought of the rides.  
"Actually, Boris, I just came to show Katelynn the Amusement Park. See, she hurt her head coming to Wonderland, and I'd rather she wait until her head heals until she rides anything." Alice explained.  
"Gah, it can't be that-" Boris went to pat my head, but his hand landed on my bruise, and his whole face dropped. "That's some bump you have there." Boris muttered, staring at me. I couldn't understand the emotion in his eyes, for it was neither amusement nor concern, not anger nor embarassment. What was the feeling?  
"Is Pierce here?" Alice asked, though her voice showed she had little faith.  
"Hnn? No... If he was, he'd be my lunch." Boris licked his lips.  
I blinked, not understanding. I had never heard Pierce's name before... "Uh-" But, I was left unheard. Maybe Pierce wasn't too important... Either way, I was too afraid to try and ask again.  
"Where are you heading tomorrow? Going to see Peter?" Boris asked, grinning at Alice when he said Peter's name.  
"Blah, no! We're going to the Castle _last_!" Alice narrowed her eyes.  
"Okay! I wanna meet you at the Mansion's gates, okay? I haven't seen Dee or Dum in a while..." Boris smiled.  
"Okay! Well, we should head out. We'll see you tomorrow, Boris! Say bye to Gowland for us!" Alice waved, I glanced around wildly- I hadn't realized the Park's owner had disappeared on us.  
I waved to Boris, feeling suddenly exhausted. I stared at the sky, the clear, sunny sky. Maybe it was the beautiful, yet dying day that was making me exhausted...  
By the time Alice and I got back to the Clock Tower, the sky was dark, and I was barely thinking straight from being so tired. _This is what you get for being an insomniac_, I thought to myself, holding my head. _Despite the time of day being random, I'm still exhausted when it gets dark._  
"Julius?" Alice called, but Julius wasn't far- he was sitting at the table, working on one of his clocks.  
Julius stood and walked over to us. "You're back. Where did you two go today?" Julius asked, unphased by the night.  
"The Amusement Park! We're heading to the Hatter Mansion tomorrow." Alice yawned, a notion that she was as ready for bed as I was.  
"I see you're putting off seeing Peter as long as possible." Julius mused.  
"Yes! Goodnight." Alice waved to Julius and myself, as well as the topic of Peter.  
Julius turned to me. "Before you go to bed, how did you enjoy the Amusement Park?"  
I froze, ever since I got here, I figured Julius hated me. This was the first time we had spoken one-on-one. "I liked it, Boris and Gowland are so fun to be around! I can't wait to ride some of the rides." I murmured quietly.  
Julius made a face at the latter comment, then recomposed himself. "Be careful tomorrow at the Hatter Mansion. The Mansion is filled with highly dangerous characters... all of Wonderland is, but the Mansion specifically." Julius paused, turned away, then continued. "I hope you enjoy your time here in Wonderland, Katelynn."  
I flinched for that was the first time I heard him say my name. I smiled, and headed for my room, but not without glancing over my shoulder and thanking him. "Thank you, Mr. Monrey." I saw him flinch, but I couldn't ask, I couldn't speak- so I hurried to my room.  
Maybe I could fall asleep without having a nightmare.


	4. 3: The Mafia Mansion

_ "I'll make sure your time here in Wonderland isn't wasted. You'll be happier here than in the 'real world.' 'Cause that isn't hard, is it? This is a dream, isn't it?"_  
I woke up, shaking. A voice that I was now familiar with rang in my head... Whenever I woke up, it was there. I just never remembered what the voice told me.  
_ Today, I head to the Hatter Mansion_, I thought, and felt myself shiver. Not because after today I would head to Heart Castle, where Peter was. No... it had to be because the Mansion was ran by a Mafia. I guess neither were really good news...  
I headed downstairs, but found that I was the first awake. _How odd,_ I thought, _I'm never the first to wake up._ I glanced back at the stairs, but the house was silent. The house was still... and I felt at ease. At my own house, it was rare for me to enjoy utter silence. But, already, I have changed alot since I came to Wonderland.  
"Oh, I overslept? Or, maybe, you woke early?" Alice asked, smiling as she came downstairs.  
I shrugged. Time still eluded me here... It had yet to make an impact in our schedule, which was simple... Leave when it's light, be back when it's dark.  
"Well, we head to the Hatter's Mansion today." As Alice said this, she grew a bit solemn. I couldn't keep from questioning her.  
"What's the matter? I figured that the Heart Castle was number one on your places-you-hate list, since we're going there last." I didn't mention Peter, for numerous reasons.  
"Eh, it is, because of Peter. There's on person at the Mansion that I don't like either, though." Alice shrugged, seeming to still be in deep thought. I didn't ask anything else, but waited in silence for her ready for our leave.  
Alice seemed to notice that I was waiting on her, and she snapped back to reality. _Fake reality... that seems so real..._ "Sorry, we'll head out now, okay?" Alice jumped up.  
"Are you okay? Do you need to get something off your chest?" I asked, feeling the need to assist my friend, who seemed out of herself... Which made _me_ feel uncomfortable.  
"Eh?" Alice thought for a moment, and smiled, truly. "I... It's a story for another day. I'll be alright. Thanks, though, Katelynn, for worrying about me. But we really should head to the Mansion, i f we want to see it in the sunlight." Alice grasped my hand, and once again, lead us outside.  
"The Mansion is home to the March Hare, Elliot, the Bloody twins, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, and the head of the Mansion, Blood Dupre. The Mansion is also run by a Mafia, which Blood is the head of." Alice explained, shivering. "The twins are a bit dangerous, and Elliot can be, too... But they're all very nice. Blood on the other hand is moody and shady." Alice narrowed her eyes, once again lost in thought. Though I listened to her explanation, I was only barely listening... I was merely interested in the Amusement Park and Heart Castle. It seemed unlikely my attention would suddenly focus on the Hatter Mansion.  
After walking for a bit in a silence that never officialy became awkward, gates appeared before a large mansion. But the two gatekeepers were not who I expected- they were mere kids. I bet _I_ was older than them!  
"Dee! Dum!" Alice exclaimed, waving.  
The two children, the twins, were dressed in opposing colors- one in a red outfit, one in a blue outfit. They both carried scythes larger than their own height, and I marveled at how they were able to hold the weapons up.  
"Lady!" The twins called in unison, dropping their weaponry to run to Alice and hug her. "We haven't seen you in a while!"  
"Don't you want to hang out with us, lady?" The twin in red asked innocently.  
"Is this your friend, lady?" The twin in blue asked, pointing toward me.  
"Yes! Dee, Dum, this is Katelynn. She just came to Wonderland and I'm showing her the territories." Alice smiled. Slyly, Alice pointed to which twins was which- Dee was in blue, while Dum was in red.  
"Nice to meetya..." The twins stopped turned to each other, then cried in unison, "Miss!"  
I smiled. Although, just moments ago, they held weapons that surely boys their age shouldn't have, presently, they seemed innocent. They were adorable and sweet, and... potentially dangerous?  
_ "The Mansion is filled with highly dangerous characters."_  
Julius' warning hung in the air. I hadn't forggotten how odd it was to have a one-on-one conversation with him... or for him to say my name.  
"Alice!"  
Although it wasn't my name being called, I still turned. The voice was unfamiliar, and when I turned, I was shaken. The man had _rabbit ears_... I was being haunted, no, this must be... karma, yes, for some unknown evil deed... Why, God, why?  
Then it hit me.  
_ "The Mansion is home to the March Hare, Elliot."_  
Oh... I was prewarned.  
"Elliot, it's so good to see you!" Alice smiled, giving Elliot a quick hug.  
"Same to you!" Elliot's face brightened even more after Alice hugged him, which I found very curious.  
"Hey, newbie hare!" Dee cried.  
"Hey, chickie-rabbit!" Dum called.  
"Why are you so interested in Alice? There's a _new_ outsider, don't be stupid, newbie hare! Say _hello_." Dee and Dum pushed me towards Elliot, and I felt myself completely freeze up.  
"Whoa! A second outsider? Awesome!" Elliot grinned, then frowned. "But, you brought her here to meet the ones with duties of the Mansion, right? Sorry, Alice, Blood's out right now."  
"That's not a completely bad thing." Alice muttered under her breath.  
I only barely caught what Alice murmured, though. What was this "ones with duties" that Elliot was talking about? I was about to ask, but Elliot spoke first.  
"What's your name again?" Elliot asked, leaning toward me.  
I couldn't move, though I was afraid. Though he seemed friendly, his hair bothered me. I had never seen a curly-haired ginger before, and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. "Katelynn."  
"Hi, Katelynn! Welcome to the Hatter Mansion! I wish I could give you a proper welcome, completed with a tour, but I actually have alot of work to do... So, I have to head off. Come back soon to meet Blood, okay?" Elliot ruffled my hair, and waved to Alice. "And you two, don't you go on 'break' because I turn my back!" Elliot called to the twins, before heading into the Mansion, with a final wave to Alice and myself.  
Dee and Dum turned to Alice and me. "Do the lady and the miss have to go, too? Or can they come and play with us, now that the stupid chicken-rabbit is gone?" Dee and Dum picked their scythes up again and grinned.  
"Eh, no, we actually have to go! But, we'll be sure to come back and hang out soon! Bye Dee, bye Dum!" Alice waved and quickly walked away from the twins.  
"What's the matter, Alice?" I asked, feeling that a theme was appearing.  
"Dee and Dum can be cute little kids, but it's best not to be caught up in their games." Alice explained.  
"Oh, well, that's okay. I don't really like games." Excluding a very few videogames, and the rare card game, I didn't play games often at all. My parents ridiculed me because of it.  
Alice stopped for a moment. "You don't... like... games?" Alice glanced at me, and I suddenly worried- had I offended her? Why did she look so confused?  
"No, not really. Normally because most are pretty lame. The runner-up reason would probably be because I s-ck at games." I laughed quietly.  
Alice didn't say anything. She remained solen, and stared at the ground.  
As Alice and I neared the Clock Tower, the question gnawed at me, and I now had a chance to ask. "Alice, what was the 'ones with duties' Elliot was talking about?" I asked.  
"The ones with duties... the role holders... You know someone's a role holder because they have a face. Julius, Elliot, Boris, Dee, Dum, and even Peter, are all role holders. There's obviously others, too." Alice explained, as she listed a few examples.  
I merely nodded, and followed Alice into the Clock Tower.  
"We're off to the Heart Castle tomorrow." Alice groaned.  
"Oh? I can't wait! Err, I mean, that's the last of the territories, and, yeah..." I instantly backtracked and trailed off when Alice gave me an odd look when she saw how excited I was.  
Alice raised an eyebrow. "Hopefully Peter's too busy working tomorrow, and we won't bump into him.  
"Yeah... We can only hope." I agreed mournfully, before exiting toward my room.


	5. 4: The Castle of Hearts

Chapter Four  
The Castle of Hearts

_ "You've been wanting to head to the Castle. Just to see his face... Well, there's no time left to waste. If you really do love im, better make the best of it, before-"_  
That was the one night his message was left unfinished. Not like I remembered what he said, but I could feel that there were loose ends. Although it was always in fleeting, I often wondered what I was being told, and who was telling me it.  
I remembered that I was going to the Heart Castle today, and I jumped out of my bed. My afterthought was, however, what I remembered- Peter doesn't acknowledge my existance.  
Slightly bummed, I tried my best not to drag my feet as I headed downstairs. _I always fall... for men who are already in love. First..._ My head swirled with memories of when I was twelve. _First Monti, then Carsyn, and now.._ I shook my head as I sat at the table- awaiting Alice's awakening. _No! Don't admit that you like him. The visit to the Heart Castle will only... hurt more..._  
"Katelynn!"  
I jerked, as Alice called my name. "Eh? Alice... why are you yelling at me?" Then, I saw both Julius and Alice staring at me, and I felt heat rush to my face. "What? Why are you staring at me?" I stared at the ground, unable to match their eyes.  
"What were you thinking about? We've called your name several times, and you were completely out of it." Alice came over to me, and pressed the back of her hand against my forehead. "Are you feeling okay?"  
I flinched away from her touch. "I'm fine."  
"Then what possessed your attention, so much so that you couldn't hear us?" Julius asked, also nearing me, but still behind Alice.  
"Err..." I blushed, how could I tell _Alice_ and _Julius_- of all people- that I was thinking of _Peter White_? I merely shook my head.  
"You were thinking of someone." Julius commented.  
I blushed, and couldn't look at Julius. _No, no, no... Not true! A passing thought... That's it, that's all!_  
"Wow, spot on, Julius! How'd you guess?" Alice asked.  
"She was blushing, wasn't making eye conact, nor did she comment." Julius shrugged, as if it were obvious.  
"Who were you-"  
"Shouldn't we be off to the Castle?" I interrupted, jumping up.  
Julius raised an eyebrow, as Alice shrugged. "Let's go!" Alice headed for the door. "Later, Julius!"  
"Bye, Mr. Monrey." I waved, as Alice led us to the Castle.  
"The Heart Castle is home to Queen Vivaldi, Ace, the knight of hearts, and, as you know, the white rabbit, Peter White. Ace is good friends with Julius... however, you'll see him randomly, since he's directionally challenged. Vivaldi is kind of scary, since she enjoys executions. But, of all of them, Peter is the worst." Alice shook her head.  
"There." Alice stopped, and in-front of us was a gate, which held back not only a garden-like maze, but a towering Castle. The gatekeepers were card-like soldiers... faceless, like the workers at the Amusement Park.  
"Hello, Miss Alice." The card soldiers guarding the gate greeted her as we walked up. They seperated, opened the gate, then noticed me, behind Alice. "Welcome, guest."  
Alice opened the doors to Heart Castle and within the doors, Peter was walking with a woman- by her elegant dress and crown, I assumed was Vivaldi, the queen.  
Peter turned, his eyes went wide, and ran to glomp Alice. He succeeded in pumelling her to the ground.  
"Alice, Alice! You came to visit- my day has been brightened immensely!" Peter cried.  
"White, you are very loud and very narrow-minded. Do we welcome yet another foreigner in our Castle?" Vivaldi asked, turning to me.  
"Err, yes, your majesty." I muttered, embarassed over the superiority in her voice.  
"We would like to know your name." Vivaldi ordered.  
"K-Katelynn." I stuttered.  
"Is this your first territory you visited, Katelynn?" Peter asked, after having been pushed away by Alice.  
Under Peter's intense, ruby stare, I was mesmerized for a moment. But, before I was questioned for staring, I broke my sudden spell of silence. "Uh, no, it's, er, the last." I stammered, unable to meet Peter's harsh gaze.  
"Although it wounds me, Alice, that you would visit the Castle last, I guess I should thank you for prolounging our reunion. For, you see, I've been busy with work for the past few days." Peter explained.  
"Work that you were far behind in." Vivaldi said in a bored tone. "We wish we could extend our time with you, but we must be off. Do come back for tea sometime soon, Katelynn, Alice." With that, Vivaldi left.  
"Ehh, crap!" Alice spat, over the fact that they could have missed Peter, if they had come earlier.  
Although it hurt to see Peter goggle over Alice, I was still warmed to see him again.  
"Peter, is Ace here? I want him to meet Katelynn." Alice asked, trying to find any reason to be rid of Peter's presence.  
"No," Peter answered simply, not caring to elaborate.  
"Ugh!" Alice groaned.  
"Alice, why do you care to see another man? You have me!" Peter tried to hug her again, but Alice knew better, and dodged him.  
"Who would want _you_?" Alice spat.  
Peter's ears drooped and sadness haunted his eyes. "Alice, you can't mean that."  
My heart throbbed, and I could merely imagine the pain Peter was going through. Although I thought Alice wa being rude, I was a bit biased... maybe it was just jealousy that made me wish she was kinder to Peter.  
"Of course I mean it!" Alice cried, crossing her arms and averting her gaze.  
"Alice," I whispered.  
Alice glanced at me. "What?"  
I grasped her hand, pulled her close, and whispered into her ear: "Be easier on him. You can't help who you fall in love with." My secrecy cause Peter to tilt his head to the side, which gave me an urge to hug him, mimicking his actions to Alice; it cause Alice to rethink her choice of words, and force a smile, though you could clearly tell she was irritated.  
"I'm sorry for what I said." Alice muttered through gritted teeth. "But you're still extremely annoying."  
Peter clasped his hands together, before hugging Alice. "Oh, Alice, it's alright! _I still love you!_" Peter completely ignored Alice's latter comment.  
"That does _not_ mean you can hug me, still!" Alice pushed Peter away, but he still seemed cheerful.  
My heart hammered, and I wished for shadows to disappear into. This sense of uselessness, as if I was completely invisible... it wasn't new, but it still hurt for Peter to ignore me, and Alice, temporarily. At least if there were some shadows, or if I was back home- I could merely take off, I would feel more comfortable than I do now...  
"Alice, won't you come and move to the Castle?" Peter asked, clasping his hands in a begging matter.  
"No," Alice answered.  
"Stay the night?" Peter continued.  
I felt my heart tear at how desperate Peter was to gain Alice's love... It made me feel sick, and I could feel tears blurring my vision. _No!_ I thought, but I could no longer control myself, as I ran out the Castle doors. The tears were streaming down, for what seemed endlessly. _Why am I such a loser, such a cry baby?_ I pondered, as I ran for the Clock Tower.  
_ I don't want to be questioned,_ I thought, as I slammed the door to the Tower. _Just keep running._  
"Katelynn? What-" Julius began, but I thudded upstairs and slammed the bedroom door.


	6. 5: DreamLand

Chapter Five  
DreamLand

I hadn't slept so well in a while, until I was in Wonderland. Though it was a restless sleep, it was still sleep... Which I found odd; I slept better in a dream than in reality. A dream... No, this was a nightmare. I had them often... but, I normally screamed during a nightmare. I cried more often in this nightmare. Maybe that's what led me to sleep...  
"And isn't it odd, with the tears you've cried, to believe that you are happier here than with your original world?" A man asked, floating out of no where.  
_ That voice..._ "Who... are you? Where am I?" I asked. Would this impair my rest? Crap.  
"Hello, I'm Nightmare." Nightmare greeted, floating towards me.  
"Hi!" I greeted, smiling. "What's up?"  
Nightmare snickered. "Katelynn... you are an odd one." He sat next to me, and brushed his lips against my ear. "But... that's what I love about you."  
I flinched away from him. _His voice... so... familiar._ "Do I know you?"  
"I've been watching over you and your dreams since you've come to Wonderland. You surely have a rotten memory." Nightmare snickered.  
"So you're the one who's been telling me all the stuff I can't remember. Sorry about that, hopefully it wasn't very important?" I wondered.  
Nightmare snickered again. "Nothing... bothers you. You have no questions about this world? You seem to just take it all in stride. But that's not you... _You_ worry, _you_ panic... That's why you have so many nightmares. And yet, you haven't asked even the most generic of questions. Shall I help you out, or do you think you can handle it?" Nightmare asked, his condescending tone was mingled with sarcasm.  
I blinked, trying to think. Blushing, I shook my head. "Can't you just tell me what I need to know?"  
"You're an odd one." Nightmare repeated. "You've thought of home, but haven't asked how to leave. You don't understand this world, yet you ask nothing about it. Why is that?" Nightmare mused aloud.  
"This is just a dream. The only way to leave a dream is to wake up. I just have to wait until then. What use is knowing this world, if I'm going to forget everything the moment I wake up?" _Whenever that'll be..._  
"What if I told you... It's not as simple as that? Sure, you can leave whenever you want. But... _this_ is a dream. Wonderland... it's _real_." Nightmare hovered above me, awaiting my reaction.  
"_This_ world is no better than _my_ world."  
"What?" Nightmare cried. "You're kidding!"  
"Why would I kid? This world is as full of heartbreak as was my home planet. If Wonderland is as real as you say it is..." I muttered disbelievingly.  
"You will surely find some relief in Wonderland. An outsider cannot be resisted forever." Nightmare smirked. "_I_ have already taken a liking to you."  
My face twisted in horror. "W-What are you talking about?" I jumped up. "Whatever joke you're trying to pull- quit it! That's just _mean_."  
"Didn't Alice tell you? _Everyone_ in Wonderland will love you. It's what happens when someone of Wonderland gets to know an outsider." Nightmare explained.  
"That's sick and twisted... and _wrong_, on _so_ many levels." I murmured. This world can't be real if _everyone_ fell in love with _me_. Not even in a dream world would that happen.  
"Katelynn... This world should make you happy." Nightmare frowned. "It has made Alice happier."  
"I'm not Alice." I murmured simply.  
"No, you're not. Your circumstances aren't exactly the same... but when it comes down to it, you were brought here so that your hearts would mend, and you would finally enjoy life."  
I glanced at Nightmare. _Alice was brought here? She's..._ meant _to be here..._ "Circumstances?"  
"Alice was forcefully dropped into Wonderland by a certain white rabbit." Nightmare chuckled at something I couldn't comprehend.  
Tears filled my eyes knowing Peter went so far as to go to a different planet to bring his love to Wonderland... How could I ever compare to Alice? _I can't..._ "So, I'm not even _supposed_ to be here. I'm here on _accident_." I snapped. _I liked this place better when I thought it was a dream!_  
Nightmare looked away, and fidgeted uneasily.  
Fury raked through me. "Then let me go home- let me wake up! _Something!_ I don't want to be here! _I don't want to be in a place I'm not needed!_" I ranted.  
"You _are_ needed." Nightmare contradicted quickly.  
I fell to my knees, and started to sob. _I can't handles this,_ I thought. _Why can't I ever stay angry? Now I'm a crying fool..._  
"Relax, Katelynn. You'll understand everything in due time." I felt Nightmare's hand begin to rub my back gently, and I choked back more tears. _I... feel bad, for lashing out at him. I want... nothing more... than to just feel that, somewhere- anywhere, I belong. Somewhere, I'm wanted, I'm needed. It wasn't back home... It's not here. Maybe... I'm too selfish. Maybe... I'm better off dead._  
"Can't I just go _home_, and make believe this was all a dream?" _Then, if nothing more came out of it, at least I wouldn't be hurt from seeing Peter anymore._  
"I didn't know you were one to give up." Nightmare stared at me, before continuing. "Katelynn, let me tell you something- I'm the embodiment of a nightmare, of every bad dream. Now, you tell _me_ something- what is after a dream, after a nightmare?"  
I blinked, wondering if this was a trick question or not. "After a dream? Well, there's nothing." _You wake up to harsh, cruel reality._  
"Why would you _ever_ want to wake up from a dream?" Once again, I figured this was a trick question.  
_ But this is a nightmare_. I sighed, and closed my eyes. _But... I even prefer my worst nightmares over the real world._ "Well... I guess the right answer would be, you wouldn't want to?" I _knew_ that was the right answer.  
"Katelynn, you can't just give up. All bad things come to an end." With that, Nightmare started to fade, and my settings returned to my temporary room at the Clock Tower.  
I was shaking, and my heart was pounding, as if I had actually had a real nightmare. _Now, what to do with my living nightmare?_ I wondered. I stared out the window- it was still dark. _What will we do, now that we have visited all three territories?_  
I raked my hand through my hair, trying to calm down. _I hate being so emotional._ The visit with Nightmare, though it was rough, made me think... What was I going to do about my feelings for Peter?  
_ I guess there are a few options... I could ignore them until they left, I could actually_ do _something about my feelings, which seems the least likely I'll do... Or, there's the compromise between the two- do nothing about my feelings, and settle for gazing from afar._ Of the few crushes I had, the latter idea was the most common, with the first, though less often, came in second place. I have only told one boy that I liked them... and that was by peer pressure and force. Boys only found out by guessing, or if someone else told them, to my embarassment. Along with this, I had never had a boyfriend. I guess it'd be safer for me to not proceed...  
_ For why would he ever take a second glance at me? He's far too devoted to his lovely Alice..._


	7. 6: Fragmented

Chapter Six  
Fragmented

"Katelynn?" I heard Alice call to me, and knock several times on my door. I had every urge to stay in bed. But, instead, I hauled myself out of bed. Opening the door wearily, it revealed Alice's smiling, but worried face. "Are you feeling alright?"  
I nodded slowly. I'm not sure if I looked like a wreck of not, but I feared the worst. It had been a rough night.  
"Well, I figured we would go and try and find Boris and hang out with him today. Is that okay with you?" Alice still seemed worried, but I made no attempt to ease those feelings.  
I merely nodded. I felt... lifeless. Hopeless. I didn't want to leave the Tower. Although I wish I could say it was because I didn't want to chance seeing Peter... The real reason is because I didn't want to be happy, or try to have fun. I wanted to sulk... disappear into my sadness.  
I _hated_ when I got like this.  
Alice bit her bottom lip, before she turned and went back downstairs. I followed her downstairs, then sat at the table. I wanted to let my head smack against the table- from exhaustion and from sadness- but I refrained from doing so. I would certainly be questioned if I did that, and that was one thing I wanted to avoid.  
I could feel eyes boring into the back of my skull, and I didn't dare turn. Even though I saw neither Alice's nor Julius' faces, a faint pink still trickled across my face.  
I stood up, and forced a smile on my face. _This is going to be a long day._ "So, are we going to go and find Boris?" I asked. _Do I seem convincing?_  
"You're going to go visit the Park's cat again?" Julius crossed his arms, and glared at Alice. It seems I had missed out on something.  
"Yes. Maybe even go on some of the rides?" Alice shrugged.  
"Hmph." Julius walked away. "Katelynn, I'd fancy a few words with you when you return." He called before disappearing.  
Alice turned to me. The fear I felt must have been visible on my face, for she quickly reassured me. "Don't worry, Katelynn. It's merely to explain a few things, that's better to learn sooner than later." Alice nodded. "Come, let's head out."  
I bit my lower lip. What could possibly be so important that Julius has to tell me? It must be serious, he made it seem as though I had no choice but to go and talk to him. _Silly me... He always speaks sternly. Yet, rarely speaks to me._  
Alice turned to me. "Before heading to the Amusement Park, mind if we head to the store for a moment? I need to go pick up some parts for Julius." Alice veered in an opposite direction of the Amusement Park. I didn't realize Wonderland had markets. The only talk consisted of the three territories... yet, it was a stupid assumption to make.  
"Aaaalice!"  
_ No!_ I felt my hand clutch my heart, as it rapidly sped up. _Wasn't this why I didn't want to leave the Tower?_ I glanced around nervously, and saw Alice successfully maneuver away from an airbourne Peter.  
I felt heat flush my face, as he stood up, rubbing his head and smiling. _Why do I try so hard to not love anyone... Yet, it seems to be the one thing in life I cannot avoid? I guess the runner up would be pain... or is it equally unavoidable, as it always comes with love?_  
"Peter! What?" Alice exclaimed. She obviously was surprised at bumping into him here.  
I felt adrenaline pump through my veins. "I'll go get Julius' parts!" I grabbed the scrap of paper Alice had, which had the names of Julius' parts written in neat, precise handwriting. I had never heard of the parts before- but I was no clock maker, so I asked the nearest cashier in the store to assist me in finding it. I hoped for the purchase to take longer than it did- but I knew that no amount of time would push Peter away from Alice.  
I hung around the store, but I'd be d-mned if I said I didn't want to see Peter. _What draws me to him, really? He's an obsessive rabbit-man... Or is it just my obsession to being hurt that attracts me to him? He's so in love with Alice, and it's not like I don't know that. It must be the pain, it must be the hurt... for he sure isn't frinely to me.  
Was it rude of me to leave Alice? But... what could I do? I couldn't keep Peter away... and I just panicked._ I opened the door, leaving the store, gripping the package tightly in my hands, which started to shake. I stayed in the shadows of the store as I neared where I had left Alice and Peter.

-Alice's Point of View-

Katelynn ran off, her face ashened. I felt my jaw tighten, but who could blame her? Who would want to be caught near Peter? _Is it just me, or is she always so... awkward, afraid, when Peter is around?_ I shook the thought away.  
"Alice, you mustn't be so shy!" Peter brushed himself off. "I'm so glad to see you!"  
"What are you doing here, Peter?" _Please have a reasonable excuse, rather than stalking me!_  
Peter nodded towards a card soldier several feet away. "I came here on order. But, now I'm glad I didn't kill the soldier, and ignore the order, for I got to see _you_, my dear Alice!" Peter explained happily.  
"Eh, didn't you see? Katelynn was here with me, too." I scoffed. I knew he didn't care, which irritated me. If only his vision was broken in half- sure, then Katelynn would be driven mad by him, too, but then at least he wouldn't stalk either of us one hundred percent.  
"Katelynn?" Peter snorted. "She means _nothing_ to me. For all I care, she is just another faceless in the Country of Hearts!" Peter's eyes sparkled, but I couldn't depict the emotion. Something between passion and animosity... but it didn't matter to me. I was disgusted either way.  
"What a terrible thing to say!" I cried, remembering how Katelynn wanted me to ease off of Peter. _Wouldn't be so tender to him now, if only you could hear him!_

-Katelynn's Point of View-

"Katelynn?"  
At first, I thought I was being called, but then I heard a snort. That was when I realized I was being _talked_ about. I hid deeper in the shadows, and clutched the package until my knuckles turned white.  
"She means _nothing_ to me. For all I care, she is just another faceless in the Country of Hearts!"  
I felt as though my heart stopped, as my knees gave beneath me. I felt the world around me disappear, and I fell into myself. I could hear the animosty in Peter's voice, _almost as clear as I was staring into Carsyn's eyes._  
My hands flew to my face, the package dropping to my lap, though I scarcely noticed. Didn't... _care_? _Nothing_? I mean _nothing_? I felt my heart race- I couldn't handle it when people hated me. I couldn't stand hate.  
_ I knew he didn't care for me. Don't go into a state of shock over this._  
I stood up, as tears clouded my eyes. Picking up Julius' package, I ran at the edge of the woods, staying in the shadows, heading back to the Tower. _I'll apologize to Alice later. I... I can't take this right now!_  
As the Tower came into view, I slowed down, then sat on the ground. I whiped away my tears, and prayed my eyes weren't red. I took a few deep breaths to recompose myself, and slow my racing heart. I have to go into the Clock Tower as if everything is fine...  
I opened the door and immediately saw Julius. I felt my blood spike, but I took a deep breath and walked over to him. I tapped him on the back, and he whirled around, seeming shocked. "Katelynn!" Then, he seemed almost confused. "Where is Alice?"  
I flinched. _Would you question Alice if it was me not here?_ I tried to shove away all thoughts of jealousy. I handed Julius the brown bag with his clock parts in it. "Here," Then I kicked my heels together nervously. "Alice... got held back. By Peter. But, she didn't want to keep you from your work for long, so she sent me in, and made me come back. Alone." I was staring at the ground as I said this- I had yet to successfully manage to feel comfortable around Julius.  
"Thank you." Julius walked over to where the broken clock with the missing parts lay, and he got to work.  
"You're welcome, Mr. Monrey." I mrumured, slightly dazed as I watched Julius at his trait. I felt a pang as I continued to watch. Back home, I always listened to music, or played it. I was also an avid writer, always lost among dozens of journals and dull pencils. I also enjoyed drawing, but I was always better at making my ideas come to life through my words... Or, at least, so I hoped.  
"Katelynn," Julius' call interrupted my momentary home sickness. My head shot up, as I was started. "While you're staying here at the Clock Tower, I would prefer it if you called me Julius."  
I felt myself blush, and I instantly felt stupid. "I-I'm sorry M-m, Julius. I-I didn't realize..." I trailed off. _My idiocy will be the death of me!_  
Julius then had a peculiar look on his face, and looked as though he was going to say something, but then Alice walked in. "Alice! You've returned."  
I glanced nervously at Alice, and her gaze met with mine. I blushed harder, and turned my gaze to stare intently at the ground. The guilt came in heavy waves- I could never escape the qualms.  
"Are you alright? Katelynn told me that blasted white rabbit ambushed you." Julius asked, his eyes not straying from his clocks.  
"Yes. I'm glad Katelynn was able to get your parts to you." Alice muttered emotionlessly.  
This must have struck Julius as odd, for he looked up from his work. "Alice?"  
Alice was silent.  
"Did something happen?"  
Alice remained silent.  
I glanced up from the ground, and noticed here eyes were cliudy and distant. Her eyes met mine, and I felt my face grow warm. But, this time, not with blood, but with hot, wet tears. I raised an arm to hide my face, as the tears came quickly. I rubbed the tears away, and allowed myself to glance at Alice through my peripheral vision. She, like Julius, had a peculiar look on her face. Then, it seemed her trance broken, as though she had a sudden epiphany.  
"Oh, God, Katelynn, you heard Peter?" Alice cried, running over to me. "I'm so sorry!"  
"What happened?" Julius demanded, standing up.  
"Peter..." Alice trailed off. "He just... bad mouthed Katelynn, is all."  
My heart thumped. To me, that was not a moment to say "is all," and surely wasn't something that "just" happened. _My heart cannot be broken more, no. Now, whenever I hurt, it is because people are stepping on my already-fragmented heart._  
"It is expected from that devil rabbit. Do not let it get to you, Katelynn." Julius murmured simply.  
"I-I can't... take it..." I gasped through my tears. I felt myself break more with each passing moment. Which phase was better? My zombie-depressed phase, like this morning; or this cry, anxiety-riddled phase that I'm going through now?  
"Yeah, it's just Peter! It's not like... it's Boris, or anything. It's Peter- who needs him?" Alice asked, in a failing attempt to appease me.  
"So much for the Amusement Park." Julius muttered, recalling our previous plans for the day.  
_ I need Peter._ I thought sadly, though I didn't dare say it.  
But I didn't need to.  
"W-wait a second." Alice cried, grasping my shoulder. "You don't _like_ Peter, do you?"  
I didn't answer, I merely whiped away the few loner tears still falling down my face.  
Alice stumbled back a few paces, as if the answer- which was merely understood, never verbally said- had physically harmed her. "Ugh! _You like Peter White?_"  
Again, I didn't answer.  
"How disgusting, how revolting! Of all the people to fall in love with, to pick the most vile of deviants!" Alice spat. Each word was another step on a heart fragment.  
_ I never said love._  
"Alice, calm down. Don't you think she's had a hard enough time with Peter, with you overreacting?" Julius narrowed his eyes, and kneeled so his eyes were at level with mine. "Do you get butterflies when you see him?"  
Julius said it so seriously, yet I knew he was joking... I wanted to laugh. Instead, however, I blushed. "Shush up!" I cried, looking away. I didn't dare yell 'shut up' at him, just so he knew I wasn't actually angry, merely embarrassed.  
"Don't joke about this, Julius- it isn't funny!" Alice cried.  
I flinched, and felt my heart sink. "I understand that you don't like Peter, Alice. It's okay. Hazelle didn't like Carsyn." I whispered.  
_ "He's a d-uchebag."  
"He is not!"_  
This seemed to pause Alice in her tracks, and she sighed. "I'm sorry..."  
"Who's Hazelle and Carsyn?" Julius asked, though he was left ignored.  
Alice thought for a moment. "I'll try and get him to warm up to you, okay?" Alice declared.  
"N-no! It's okay! I mean... he doesn't like me, I can deal with that." As I continued, my voice dropped lower, until it was barely above a whisper.  
"Don't worry about it. He won't be able to defy you for long." Alice laughed.


	8. 7: Facade

Chapter Seven  
Facade

_ "Whoa, whoa, dude, back it up! Katelynn's_ my _best friend."  
"At least, now we know..." He pasued. "Carsyn's a dreamer!"  
"D-d-d*uche!" Carsyn smacked him in the back of the head.  
"D-d-d*ck!"  
"D-d-duck!" Hazelle cried, smiling, laughing. "Quack!"  
Carsyn smiled. "Hazelle, you killed it."  
"No, Carsyn. You're just a duck-hater."_  
I was laying in bed, and wasn't mindful of where my thoughts might wander. Now, I'm crying, because I remember when Carsyn didn't hate me.  
Unless it was all a facade.  
_ "Happy birthday, Katelynn!" Hazelle cried, handing me a neatly wrapped present.  
"Happy birthday! I don't have a birthday present for you though... 'Cause I s-ck as a best friend..." Carsyn trailed off, as Hazelle smacked him. "Hey!"  
I snickered, and smiled. "Thanks, Carsyn. Someone remembered that I don't like people buying me things."  
"Does that mean an 'I love you' and a birthday hug will suffice?" Carsyn asked.  
"Carsyn-"  
"I love youuu!" Carsyn cried, as he squeezed me in a tight hug.  
"Blahg! Too... tight!" I gasped.  
"Sorry, I forgot how weak you are." Carsyn laughed, and Hazelle joined in._  
I smiled through my tears. Memories hurt, because the happiness within them is fleeting, and you're left with nothing but a hollow emptiness within you.  
_ "It must s-ck." Crimson muttered, randomly.  
"Yes, but, what exactly are we talking about?" I asked my sister. She smirked my sarcastic comments always amused her.  
"To love someone for two years, and then have them leave you." Crimson explained.  
I fidgeted uneasily. I couldn't ever comfortably open up to my sister.  
"Katelynn, why did you let him get away so easily? You two were best friends."  
"Were we?" I asked. "Were we? Wasn't it all a lie? Maybe he needed a reason to feel comfortable with telling me off- and I gave him one. And now he's gone."  
"Will you shut up? Yeah, another guy got away. There's tons more! Stop acting like your life is terrible, you can't be so miserable with all the friends you have! Quit being so d-mn selfish, Katelynn, and be happy! Anyone else in your situation would be! But, no, it's always poor-Katelynn this, and poor-Katelynn that." Crimson snapped._ Crimson moved on easily from one guy to another after a few months of no moving forward. She hated how pessimistic I was, and how depressed I "acted."  
Because to Crimson, my depression was my facade.  
_ "Why aren't you angry? Sometimes, Katelynn, you can't bes so forgiving! You have to get p-ssed off, and take charge! Show him how much you hurt, let him have h-ll!" Hazelle cried._ She had been waiting for that moment for a while- she really hated Carsyn.  
To Hazelle, my happiness was my facade.  
I flinched at the cold memories. But it was to be expected- I never remember something good, without twice as many bad thoughts in pursuit.  
_ "And isn't it odd, with the tears you've cried, to believe that you are happier here than with your original world?"_ Nightmare had asked, and I know now, that he was right.  
I _am_ happier here in Wonderland, than I was in Earth, despite the pain.  
Maybe... that's why I have concluded that Wonderland is a dream. Maybe that is why I have come to the conclusion that I should _leave_ Wonderland.  
Yet, those two statements contradict themselves. But, for now, I will ignore that cold truth, and go on with what I believe. For no world would I ever be as happy as I have been here. For, only once, has a dark thought intruded my mind... and that must be some sort of record for me. Only in dreams have I ever been _truly_ happy. Even if in half of my dreams, I am screaming, crying, or dying.  
Why should I, the selfish friend, the living oxymoron, the walking fake... why should _I_ be happy? I don't deserve happiness. I _must_ find a way to wake up from this dream.  
Despite the urge to fight away my happiness, I couldn't help but turn the coin over. I've found yet someone else I love... I'm now _long used_ to being hated by those who I've fallen for. Sure, it still hurts...  
Oh, God, is it sane to argue with myself?  
Despite the pain... I don't want to give up on Peter quite yet. I gave up on Carsyn quickly after I was shot down. Who knows, maybe his hate was _his_ facade. Or, so I hope...  
What did I say? A living oxymoron...  
I pulled my pillow over my head, wondering which was the right choice: to abandon happiness, and get what I deserve; or learn how to not give up, and continue living with the people who have made me the happiest I've been in years.  
Obviously, option two sounded best. But, is that a selfish choice? Probably...  
In this world, I have a few friends, and I still have time to make more, and become better friends with the ones I have. In this world, I have Peter. Sure, jealousy often takes the reigns and I will get hurt, but all of this is inevitable. Besides, in this world, I can escape the shots of my parents sometimes poisonous words.  
_ "What a surprise." My father muttered, as he passed me.  
I was sitting on the couch, switching between reading manga, and using the computer. "What exactly do you mean?"  
"You're sitting on your lazy -ss again, and on that d-mn computer again!" My father cried.  
Crap, I had thought then, not this broken record again.  
"Why don't you call a friend, go outside, do something!" My father questioned.  
"I don't want to hang out with a friend today, I hate going outside, and I don't know if you can't see, but I am doing something." When I said that, I instantly regretted it. Never be a smart -ss to your parents.  
"You never go outside, or want to hang out with you friends, smart-ss!" My father raged. "You're such a disgrace. Once you decide to do something with your life instead of waste it, let me know." With that, my father left._  
Here, nobody held such high expectations of me. Here, letting people down didn't come so easily.  
Maybe Wonderland will make a better home than my own...


	9. 8: Disquietude

Chapter Eight  
Disquietude

"Good morning, Katelynn!"  
I woke up to the cheerful greeting of Alice. I smiled in return, for I was still half-asleep, and could manage no more. The very idea of last night makes me want to fall asleep where I stand. Would I ever receive a peaceful night of sleep?  
"How are you feeling?" Alice asked cautiously, subliminally asking if I was still hurting from Peter's words.  
"I'm okay... I think." How could I know? I wasn't face-to-face with Peter.  
"Good, because you're heading to the Castle today." Julius murmured, before taking a sip of his tea.  
"W-What for?" I asked, unsure if I _could_ handle bumping into Peter or not.  
"Remember? Vivaldi wanted to meet you again for tea, since she had to leave so quickly last time. One of the Castle's soldiers came to bring the message while you were still asleep." Alice explained, then flashed me an apologetic smile. "It's okay if you don't want to go. I mean, I'm definetly not one to want to meet with Peter, but... Vivaldi might disapprove." Alice shrugged, with her smile still plastered on.  
"No, no, it's fine, I'll go." I nodded, maybe a bit longer than neccessary. I was trying to prove to myself that I'd be alright, along with Alice.  
"Hmph." Julius muttered. I flinched, _how comforting._  
"That's great!" Alice cried, trying to ease my anxiety of going to the Castle. But going to the Castle didn't mean I _would_ meet with Peter.. It just made the chances alot higher.  
What was I afraid of, anyways?  
Was it that I was afraid he would be just like Carsyn? Did Peter not already say he hates me? It was not to my face, no, but, still... Did he have plans to confront me? _He couldn't... wouldn't he have flipped out on me already? I think I'll be safe, he pays too much attention to Alice, anyaways..._  
It felt like I got struck on the head, with rememberance of yesterday. I was so forgetful... "Oh, that's right, Julius. Didn't you say you wanted to talk to me about something?" With all the excitement of yesterday, I had completely forgotten about Julius. However, Julius had seemed to have forgotten as well, so, it couldn't possibly be all my fault, right?  
"No," Julius murmured simply.  
"Eh?" I cried, taken back. "Yesterday-"  
"Was _yesterday_. Today, I have nothing to tell you." Julius narrowed his eyes.  
"_Julius_!" Alice placed her hands on her hips. They both knew something that I did not.  
Suddenly, nervousness flickered through Julius' eyes, an emotion I thought I would never see in him... What could put such an emotion in _Julius_, whom I thought cared not, felt not. "I have nothing to say. Don't you two have to be at the Castle?" Julius asked.  
"Uh, yeah, I guess we could head there." I murmured, glancing at Alice, who was glaring at Julius. Julius, catching her eyes, looked away, ashamed. _Odd... what did Julius want to tell me, that he can no longer?_  
"Right," Alice spat through her teeth, glaring at Julius, though he still wasn't looking at Alice. She glanced at me. "Let's go."  
As Alice led us to Heart Castle, I couldn't keep my mind off of how odd Julius had acted. I glanced at Alice sideways. "Uh-" I started, then backtracked when Alice glanced at me. I shook my head. "Never mind." Although I knew Alice knew, I thought it was best to leave what was to be said to Julius. _Obviously, it had to do with Julius. Once he's comfortable with telling me, if he ever will be, he'll tell me. I'll leave it to Julius._  
"Welcome, Alice." The five of hearts card soldier greeted.  
"Welcome, Katelynn." The six of hearts card soldier greeted.  
I felt overwhelmed with joy that the soldier remembered me, that although Alice merely nodded at the gatekeepers, I returned the greeting. "Hello!" I cried as cheerfully as I could, hoping my gratitude was expressed.  
Alice glanced at me, seeming amused.  
I blushed a bit and stared straight at the Castle.  
Alice pushed open the doors to the Castle. However, the Castle was bustling with maids- yet no Vivaldi, nor Peter, were seen. I glanced at Alice. "Where do you think Queen Vivaldi would be?"  
"We are here." I jumped as Vivaldi appeared before us. "You came to join us for tea, yes?"  
"Yes!" Alice smiled.  
"We are pleased to have you join us for tea at such a beautiful time. Our favourite time." Vivaldi explained, as she led us to a long table outside. _What is so beautiful about the evening?_ There were many things that interested, as well as confused, me about Vivaldi. The biggest thing would be how she goes by "we."  
_ The coast is still clear... no Peter._ Then, I shook my head as I took a seat. _Jeez, Katelynn, chill out! Why wouldn't you want to see Peter... handsome Peter... -I mean! What is the worst that could happen, when, although you were in shadows, you experienced his hate... It couldn't possible be any worse face-to-face, right? _I felt my head spin as I quarreled with myself. My arguement was going around in circles.  
"Katelynn,"  
I jerked at Vivaldi's call. _Best not to zone out when dining with the Queen!_  
"Have you made your decision about your place of stay?" Vivaldi asked.  
"Place of stay? Err, at the Clock Tower?" I guessed. _Was that not worded oddly?_  
"Hmm, how odd that the misanthropic clock maker should take in _two_ outsiders. But yes, that is your permanent place of stay?" Vivaldi asked again.  
"I-I didn't realize I could stay elsewhere." I answered, then began to worry. _If Julius is known to not enjoy the company of people, then maybe_ that _is what he wanted to talk about! Maybe.. he wants me out!_  
"But of course!" Vivaldi exclaimed. "People of this world love outsiders, so naturally, they could stay anywhere. We included wouldn't mind if either of you came to stay at the Castle."  
I took a sip of my tea nervously, and exchanged glances with Alice. My own doubt was reflected in Alice's eyes. "Although the Castle is magnificent, Vivaldi, you know how I cannot stand Peter..." Alice explained.  
"You need not give us an explanation. We understand completely; White often irritates us, too." Vivaldi shook her head as Alice smiled.  
I glanced away from Vivaldi and Alice, losing myself into my thoughts, despite being company. If I could choose where to stay... would it be at the Tower? _Or would I want to be somewhere fun, like the Amusement Park? Or close to someone I carefor, here at the Castle? Though, I've always liked being the Switzerland of the group..._ I pondered over the idea... excluding the Mansion completely.  
Then my thoughts wandered to Peter. Despite his hate towards me, I still felt bad for him. He didn't deserve all the hate he got from Alice, nor whatever ill emotion Vivaldi felt towards him. _He deserves only the best._  
I snapped back to reality when I heard a door open, and I saw Peter walking in. Suddenly, my thoughts were racing at a hundred miles per hour, and I couldn't put on the brakes. I felt adrenaline pulsing through my beins, and the "fight or flight" urge fell over me. I literally felt as if I was in _danger_; I needed to escape it.  
Not realizing yet what I was doing exactly, I stood up and ran the opposite direction of Peter. I heard Alice stand up, but I kept running- I didn't care if I got lost... I just knew that I couldn't face Peter. Not that he would pay any attention to me... But, it was _personally_ too much to bear.  
I left the Castle, yelling a quick "thank you" to the card soldiers. _What I just did was stupid,_ I thought. _I'm being ridiculous._  
I opened the door to the Tower, not believing how quickly I had gotten away from Peter and the Castle. Julius turned to me, and I suddenly felt the adrenaline seep out of my veins. My heart was pounding and I could barely breathe; my body was numb and I felt as if I was going to pass out.  
I _was_ physically inept.  
"Katelynn! What _happened_?" Julius demanded, placing his hand on my shoulder.  
_ "How odd that the misanthropic clock maker should take in two outsiders."_  
I shrugged away Julius' hand, and snapped at him. "Why do _you_ care?" I asked, before leaving the Clock Tower.  
_ Dumb-ss, dumb-ss, dumb-ss._ I repeated over and over in my head.  
I headed into the forest, and once I felt I was far enough, slunked aganst a tree. I'm not sure why I went to the Tower if I was just going to run away. But, my thoughts became blurry, along with my vision. I felt exhausted and I still had yet to calm down from running so far, so fast. Laying down against the dirt, I blacked out.

-Heart Castle POV-

Vivaldi stared at Peter, who had interrupted her tea party with Alice and Katelynn. He had caused Katelynn to run, in what Vivaldi thought was fear. Alice then, after a quick apology, followed.  
"White." Vivaldi called to her Minister.  
"Your majesty?" Peter asked.  
"We believe you must change your attitude." Vivaldi murmured, glaring at Peter.  
"Deja Vu, I've been told this before." Peter commented under his breath, Then, to Vivaldi, asked. "How so?"  
"Towards Katelynn." Vivaldi explained, her tone suggesting it was obvious.  
"Katelynn? Why, I rarely see her, let alone speak to her." Peter glanced around at the now-deserted tea table. "Was she here?"  
"Yes. She saw you, and ran off. We believe she is afraid of you." Vivaldi muttered, walking away. Thinking twice, she said over her shoulder. "If you do not care to have kind relations with her, fake it, so that she is not afraid to come and visit us again."


	10. 9: The Faux Bete Noire

Chapter Nine  
The Faux Bete Noire

_ "You really do have a soft spot for... well, you know who. I would have figured you would have kissed him when you saw him. Thank goodness I didn't put money on that."_  
"Wise -ss." I muttered, as I woke up. Although Nightmare's voice rung in my head, I couldn't remember if I met with him or not. I instantly felt down... I really liked Nightmare.  
I felt... _nervous_, to say the least, about ever seeing Vivaldi again. I was so rude... and _so afraid._  
I truly am ridiculous.  
Today, however, I planned on confronting Vivaldi, and apologizing. That is, if I can get off the ground.  
I stumbled to my feet, and cracked my back, holding my head afterwards. _That's right... I ran out of the Tower. Oh, well, I doubt anyone there cares._ I thought bitterly, thinking of Julius.  
The bushes beside me began to rustle, and if it weren't for the fact that I was practically raised in the woods, I would have been terribly frightened. "Is someone there?" I called out gingerly.  
The bushes were pushed open, and revealed a tall boy, who held a sword. _He's from the Castle of Hearts!_ I thought, staring at his unique sword. _Maybe... a knight?_  
"Whoa! Are you on an adventure, too?" The boy asked, scratching his head.  
_ Adventure? You just look lost._ "Who are you?" I asked, ignoring his question.  
"I'm Ace, knight of hearts!" The boy named Ace cried, smiling. "And you?"  
"I'm Katelynn." I muttered, eyeing Ace wearily. What kind of _knight_ gets _lost_?  
Ace leaned towards me, his hand under his chin. "Katelynn, huh? Are you someone's replacement?"  
"R-replacement? No! I-I have been called an outsider, though." _What does he mean by replacement? That doesn't sound good!_ I thought.  
"Whoa!" Ace exclaimed, and I did my best to keep from laughing. "A second outsider? Wow! Are _you_ staying with Julius, too?" Ace asked.  
I hesitated. "Well, uhm, I guess you could say that, yeah."  
"How come you're here with the trees, Katelynn?" Ace asked. _Do you ever stop smiling?_ I wondered. _It's beginning to freak me out._  
"Oh, just... exploring? Though, I was about to head off-"  
"Where?" Ace interrupted.  
"Heart Castle, actually." I answered bluntly.  
"Wow, really? I'm in luck!" Ace grinned. "I'm heading there, too!"  
_ You need someone to guide you to your own home? God, you're challenged._ I thought, then started walking. Instead of walking beside me, Ace walked behind me. _He's odd... I can't tell if I'm going to be able to tolerate him or not._  
"So, why are you heading to the Castle?' Ace asked, calling from behind me.  
"Uh..." I glanced over my shoulder. "I need to talk to Vivaldi."  
"What about?"  
"Nothing, nosy." I rolled my eyes, and I heard him snicker. I glared at him, but he merely grinned back at him.  
As the Castle loomed in front of us, Ace began to walk next to me, his mouth agape. "Wow, you found it!"  
_ You sure do say 'wow' and 'whoa' alot..._ I thought, and shook my head. "Surprise, surprise." I muttered sarcastically.  
"Welcome home, Sir Ace." Greeted the five of hearts card soldier.  
"Welcome back, Katelynn." Greeted the six of hearts card soldier.  
"Hi." I smiled, and continued toward the Castle.  
"Well, nice to meetya, Katelynn! I'm off." Ace waved as he left my side. _Yeah, no problem, I lead people home all the time... you're welcome!_ I thought, irritated.  
I glanced around the Castle, and felt intimidated- the Castle was _massive_! Should I ask for help on where the Queen may be? I scanned the room I was in, but to no avail- the room was empty. So, I wandered aimlessly for a room.  
After searching for a few minutes, almost coming to the conclusion that I was lost, I entered a large chamber, which Vivaldi was in. Suddenly, anxiety overwhelmed me, but I forced myself onward. _I came this far!_ "Err, your majesty?" I called, feeling shy.  
Vivaldi turned to me, and walked over. "Katelynn! We were afraid we would not see you again, after yesterday."  
"Err- that's what I came to talk to you about... I wanted to say sorry about yesterday, I was very rude for running out like that..." Once again, intimidation crept over me, while I was scrutinized by Queen Vivaldi's stare.  
"We blame you not. We say you were fearful of White. Is that so?" Vivaldi asked, searching for an affirmation.  
"Bluntly? Yes." I whispered, and Vivaldi smiled.  
"White can be a frightening, dangerous man. But we do not want you to avoid the Castle. Your apology is accepted." Vivaldi patted my shoulder. "Can you see yourself out? We must go find a most mischievious knight."  
"Right. Thank you, your majesty." I felt my uneasiness lift, and I headed out of the chamber practically skipping. But, that would be awkward... in the Castle anyways.. outside, I would _love_ to skip.  
Then I stopped dead in my tracks, eyes widening in fear as I saw Peter. He hadn't spotted me- not yet, as he was reading the papers in his hands- but he would soon, for I was frozen to where I stood. _Frozen? Why? Why one day, I run far and fast, yet now, I am petrified?_ I thought frantically, but found no solution. I stared at Peter- his tall stature, his soft-seeming white hair, his mesmerizing red eyes... Peter must have felt me staring, for he looked up from his work, and stopped.  
"Katelynn?" Peter asked, placing his work down. "What are you doing at the Castle?"  
I felt my heart pound at an unnatural rate, and I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating. Adrenaline was pulsing through my veins... what _terrible_ timing. Peter tilted his head as the silence stretched on between his question and my answer.  
However, I had no chance to answer. I suddenly became very light-headed, and I was gasping for breath. Collapsing to my knees, I grasped at my chest, and pressed my free hand to my forehead- I was clammy, and it felt like there were tons and tons of weight on a single spot on my head.  
"Katelynn? What's the matter?"  
I heard Peter call me, I saw him kneel next to me, I felt his hand against my back- but it all felt as if I was outside of myself, watching myself have an anxiety attack.  
Gasping for the breath I could never receive, I blacked out from the lack of oxygen.

***

"Thank you, maid..."  
_ His voice... It's so close..._ Blurry, unsure, I kept my eyes shut.  
"Katelynn? Can you hear me?"  
_ Barely_... I answered in my head, though I was sure I had said it...  
_ "How smooth..."_ A chuckle. "You just passed out in front of your love... _because_ you saw him! You never cease to amuse or interest me, Katelynn."  
I opened my eyes, and glanced around. _Nightmare!_  
"Yes." Nightmare grinned.  
I jerked, as I realized he had read my mind. Then, realizing it was Nightmare, I jumped up, ran over to him, and hugged him. "Nightmare! I missed you!"  
As I held him, Nightmare's face ashened, and he vomitted blood. Not letting go, not flinching, I asked. "Are you okay?"  
"I... got too happy." Nightmare answered, whiping his mouth with his sleeve.  
"Well, don't let _that_ be the reason you vomit blood!" I cried, releasing him.  
"Isn't that why you just fainted?" Nightmare asked, as he wavered in and out of vision, until he was gone completely.  
Opening my eyes, I forgot where I was for a moment. Until, that is, I heard a far too familiar voice. "Katelynn!"  
I glanced over my shoulder, and saw that Peter was sitting not far from where I was laying. I had apparently been moved after I passed out; I shivered at the thought.  
Peter quickly closed the distance between us, sitting on the edge of the guest-bed I was using. "Are you alright?"  
I sat up swiftly. "Yes." I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, to be pulled back down onto the bed by Peter.  
"Wait- I want to talk to you before you go."  
I glanced at Peter, and felt my heart begin to race again. "O-okay."  
"Are you afraid of me?" Peter asked, staring intently at me.  
"Err, what?" I asked, then forced myself to smile and laugh. "What are you talking about? Of course not!"  
Peter leaned back. "Truly?"  
I nodded, "Truly."  
Peter narrowed his eyes, recalling the queen's words in his mind. "...Truly?"  
I swallowed hard, and nodded. "Truly." I choked out.  
Peter stood up briskly. "You may go." Peter then left the room, leaving me dumbfounded. _Where_ do _I go?_


	11. 10: If Curiosity Killed The Cat

Chapter Ten

If Curiosity Killed The Cat, You Just Died

I was hesitant on going into the Clock Tower.

So hesitant, that I stood outside taking deep breaths for half an hour. When I was finally calm, I knocked on the door. However, the Tower remainded eerily silent. Confused and slightly creeped out, I tested the doorknob- locked. _Maybe they just went out..._ I thought. _But why Julius? He _never _leaves the Tower._ I contradicted myself.

"Katelynn!" A deep voice called from behind me.

I three-sixtied to see Julius and Alice running over to me. "Hey."

"What the _h-ll_ is wrong with you? You just storm out of the Clock Tower, spewing nonsense, and then disappear all night, and half of the day? We've been searching everywhere for you- where the _h-ll_ have you been?" Julius raged.

I blinked- then realized that I was not to be touched. I was a _burden_, not to be mistaken for Julius worrying about me.

"Julius is right. It'd be nice to know where you were..._ and_ what happened..." Alice added, glancing wearily between Julius and myself.

" Exactly this! I won't stay to be an albatross- _that's _why I ran off." I snapped. Though my words were sharp, there edge was fading, while my voice began shaking and my eyes became msity.

"Burdening- is _that_ what this is all about? You're being bloody ridiculous." Julius rolled his eyes. "If you _want _to stay somewhere else- go. I won't stop you. If you want to stay _here_, then you can do as you please."

Alice's eyes darkened, as she stared at me. I felt as if my heart was being stabbed- Julius didn't care if I was there or not. I stared down at the ground, and felt tears roll down my face. _I can't stand when people hate me._

"Don't..._ cry_-" Julius started.

"_Why do you care_?" I cried.

"Katelynn-" Alice tried.

Whiping tears, I broke Alice off. "Oh, that's _right_, you don't." _If only I was home. But where is home? Not that h-ll hole of a house in Plymouth; not in the Clock Tower with Julius and Alice. Maybe, my home isn't here in Wonderland after all._

"Oh, shut up. You're being ridiculous." Julius repeated.

_"Quit being so d-mn selfish."_ My sister's words echoed in my head. _That_ is what Julius wanted to say, but didn't.

"Why?" I choked out.

"Why what?" Julius asked.

"_Why do you hate me_?" I burst, as I turned on heel. Although I asked, I didn't want to hear the answer... I was afraid of the answer.

I wasn't sure where I had run- I saw the Castle in the distance, however. Why I would ever run there, I was unsure of... probably subconsciously wanting to see Peter agin. However, it wasn't the Castle- I was in a garden-like maze... or maybe, a maze-like garden. I wandered around, but felt I was no closer to the Castle, nor an exit.

"Katelynn?" At first, I thought, maybe Peter had found me. However, that was not the case, for this was a _different_ familiar voice.

"Boris?" I turned around to see the punk-cat, to my horror. My voice had shaken as I called his name, and there was no doubt that my eyes were red. "Katelynn, what's the matter? You look upset!" Boris exclaimed.

"Wh-what are you doing at Heart Castle territory, Boris?" I countered.

"...Playing games." Boris winked.

"Games? At the Castle? What kind?" I asked, confused by his wink.

"Kill-or-be-killed games." Boris grinned.

I flinched. "Sounds fun." I muttered sarcastically. "Please be safe- I like you _alive_, Boris."

Boris tilted his head. "Wow, you're as weird as Alice. But, okay." Boris winked again, before tussling my hair. 'Same goes for you- I'll stay alive so I can see you again."

"How sweet." I felt a smile spread across my face.

"So," Boris started, before jumping into a tree, which was amidst the maze-garden, and beckoned for me to join him. "You look better, but why were you so upset a few minutes ago?"

I hauled myself onto the branch beside Boris. For a few minutes, I merely stared at him- how did I know if I could trust him? But, of all the people here, even if he _was_ half-animal, Boris reminded me of my friends back home. A warm feeling spread within me, and I knew I oculd tell Boris anything. "I ran from the Clock Tower, because Julius hates me."

"So? Julius isn't cuddly-friendly with anybody, even Alice." Boris was staring at the card soldiers that were patrolling the gardens.

"I can't take it when people hate me." I whispered, my eyes watering over, thinking of Peter, rather than Julius.

I felt Boris' arm wrap around me. "Hey- don't cry. I don't think Julius _hates _you, even if he _is_ cold. He was born in Wonderland- he'll love you one day. 'Til then, you can hang out with me. I won't make you cry." Boris licked my cheek, and I flinched at the familiar feeling of a cat's tongue.

I wanted to let Boris know that I believe him, but in the end, even the best of friends leave you cold. I stared over at the Castle, silently longing for a glimpse of Peter. _Maybe I really am selfish..._

"Hey, Katelynn?" Boris asked, grinning mischieviously.

"Yes?" I turned toward him, though still wishing to see Peter. _I'm such a creeper._

"Why are you staring so intently at Heart Castle?" Boris snickered.

I blushed, remembering just how easily read I could be, by certain people. "Was I?" _Lying will do no good.. you s-ck at it!_

"What-cha hiding?" Boris asked, leaning towards me. "Gotta secret crush at the Castle?"

My face turned a deeper red, my embarrassment now the reasoning for why my eyes were cloudy. "Eh? No!" I looked away fro Boris, trying my best not to smile or laugh- I blushed and cried enough for it not to be a give-away, however, I always smiled or laughed when I lied.

"Why won't you tell me? I thought we were friends." Boris pouted, and I felt crushed.

"We are!" I said swiftly. "Well..." I paused, and glanced back at the Castle. "Don't get p-ssed at me like Alice did, okay? And don't tell anyone- okay?" I demanded.

"Holy _crap_- you have a crush on Peter, don't you?" Boris gasped when I didn't answer right away. "Holy crap!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, nobody likes him." I muttered sourly.

"Aww, maybe you'll be the person to get him to loosen up! You two would make a cute couple... Wow, weird. You like Peter,w ho doesn't like you, but loves Alice, who hates him. What a tragic love triangle." Boris sighed, shaking his head.

"Yeah, thanks for the pep talk, Boris." I chuckled darkly.

"Hey! I know what we can do! You still haven't tested the Amusement Park yet, right? Gowland always say that's the perfect place for couples- so how about bonding? We can bring Peter and Alice... and the Bloody Twins, so nobody suspects anything." Boris grinned, and I guessed that _he_ really wanted to do so- just to spend time with Alice.

"I can see Alice and the Twins going, but will Peter buy it? I mean... he doesn't seem the type to go to an Amusement Park." I mused.

"He won't care, since Alice will be there." Boris shrugged.

I felt my heart sink. "_Great_. Maybe we should try and get Alice to fall in love with Peter."

Boris laughed. "You're the only one sick enough to do _that_. Besides, Alice won't want him to sit next to her. That'll be our bait... once we snatch him in, he'll be with you all day! Or, almost. _I_ wanna sit on a few rides with you." Boris smiled.

I blushed, _I never said I "loved" Peter..._ "This isn't going to work... But, I'll go to the Amusement Park even if Peter doesn't go." I added quickly. _I need to test out those rollercoasters._

Boris grinned. "Great! Meet me here tomorrow so we can persuade Peter. 'Less you wanna come back to the Amusement Park with me, now?"

I thought about it, and considered it tempting. "I'd love to, but I think I need to go apologize to Julius. I'll see you tomorrow!" I jumped down from the tree.

Hesitantly, Boris called after me. "Katelynn?"

I turned, and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Can... can we meet at the Gardens every once and a while?" Boris asked, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Yeah! But no kill-or-be-killed games while I'm around, okay?" I waved. "Goodbye, Boris, and thank you!"

Boris waved, before disappearing into the maze.

Walking back to the Clock Tower Plaza, I was careful to avoid the card soldiers. Now, I was choosing what I should say to Julius carefully- this was the second time I had yelled at him. I could already feel the tears brewing inside me.

I headed up the Tower, and knocked on the door. To my relief, and my anxiety, Alice opened th door. Smiling brilliantly, she hugged me. "Katelynn! Thank goodness you came back to the Tower... I didn't want to have to send a search party out for you." Alice let go of me, and waved, beckoning me inside.

I tiptoed inside, glancing nervously from side to side. I turned to Alice. "Where is Julius?"

"Here." I jumped at Julius' low voice, which was creepy on it's own- however, he looked p-ssed, and was obvious from his tone, amplifying his creepiness. He took off his glasses and sat at the table, where he had his tea.

"Err, hi." I whispered, not daring to move an inch. "Julius, I cam to say that I am sorry for yelling at you. I should have kept my temper." I made sure that I let him know through the right words that I did not take back what I said- I still believed he hated me.

"Aplogy accepted." I flinched, unable to comprehend what he had just said. _Accepted_? Just liked that? I couldn't believe it had been that easy. Julius stood up, and walked over to me, crossing his arms over his chest.

I felt intimidated by just how tall he was- I was used to being one of the taller students at my school- and how his gaze was mixed with that of condescending, as well as darkness. I could legitimately feel the ice blowing off of him. "I'll leave-" I turned, and felt his hand wrap around my wrist.

"I believe you've done enough running around for all of us. Why don't you get yourself a cup of tea, and then get to bed. I imagine you'll want to rest." Julius then afterward, let go of my wrist, grasped his cup of tea, and disappeared.

"I'll make you some tea." Alice suggested, disppearing for a few moments. When she returned, and I had taken a sip of tea, I decided to tell her a little bit of what Boris and I were planning.

"Alice, Boris and I are planning on going to the Amusement Park... sometime soon, and the Tweedle Twins might come, too." I was unsure of adding the part about Peter, so I left it out. She'll figure it out when we're there...

"Sounds like fun! I can't wait." Alice grinned. "Did you go to the Amusement Park today?"

"Err, no. I got lost in the Castle's garden, and Boris was there." I took a sip of my tea nonchalantly.

Alice's smiled became forced. "Alright, well, I'm going to my room. I'll see you in the morning." Alice waved, before heading off.

I took a final sip at my tea, before dumping the rest out. _Should I have told Alice of Boris' ingenious plan? Or would it keep her from going? Either way, she'll be receiving quite the surprise..._


	12. 11: Unexpected Surprise

Chapter Eleven  
Unexpected Surprise

"It's kind of scary how well you know your way around here." I commented to Boris. It was "early"- that way we could spend as much time as possible at the Park. We, as in Boris and me- Alice was waiting at the Tower- were heading to the Castle, in search of Peter. The Twins were going to meet us at the Amusement Park.  
"Welcome, Katelynn." Both, the five of hearts card soldier and the six of hearts card soldier greeted me. They both slightly stiffened at the sight of Boris. "Welcome, Amusement Park Cat."  
"Hey!" I greeted, then stopped. "Can you guys tell us where Peter is?"  
"Sir Peter isn't at the Castle right now. If you head out, you might bump into him. You can wait for him at the exit, you'll probably be able to see him better from there." Card five explained. He seemed eager to get Boris off of Heart Castle territory.  
"Thank you." I nodded, straining to keep the disappointment out of my voice. The soldiers bought it, however, Boris did not. Once we were out of listening-point, he tried to appease me.  
"Hey, don't give up hope. The card soldier said he should be returning soon. We'll-"  
"Katelynn? Boris?"  
I glanced up, and saw Peter. _Crap! Had he heard us?_  
Boris glanced at me, and noticed that I had frozen up, and took over. "Peter, hey! We were wondeirng if you wanted to come to the Amusement Park with us!" Boris smirked.  
Peter looked uneasy. "Why would I do that?"  
"Amusement Park's are fun!" I choked out, forcing a smile.  
"_I'll_ be there." Boris threw out his arms in an exasperating motion, sarcastically.  
Peter snorted. "How-"  
"Before you be a total pr-ck about this, it's Katelynn's idea. All friendly and stuff. If you don't want to go for me or Katelynn... then go cause Alice'll be there." Boris rolled his eyes as Peter clasped his hands together happily, and his eyes widened.  
"Alice? Really? Oh, I'll go!" Peter jumped a bit.  
My heart plummeted. Boris' plan had sounded fool-proof... but I was the fool here.  
As we headed for the Tower, it was very silent. Boris often sent me uneasy glances, which Peter always caught, raising an eyebrow in confusion. _This is going to be a disaster!_  
Boris opened the door to the Clock Tower, to an excited Alice, who immediately switched places with Peter; Peter became excited, as Alice became disappointed. She shot both Boris and myself daggers, and I blushed. How could I be so stupid?  
"Peter." Alice said, I couldn't tell if she was greeting him or questioning him.  
"Alice!" Peter went to hug Alice, but Boris grasped his wrist, and dragged him away.  
"Off to the Amusement Park, eh?" Boris released Peter, then turned towards us, walking backwards. "What should we go on first?" There was a bounce in Boris' step as we neared the Park- it was obvious that he was excited.  
"Have you ever been to the Park, Peter?" I asked, barely above a whisper, after shrugging to Boris, unsure of what rides the Amusement Park held.  
"Just to discuss territory. I've never ridden any of the rides." Peter answered, glancing at me. _I could melt in his eyes..._  
"It'll be both you _and_ Katelynn's first time on the rides! We should start off at the attractions- like the Haunted House and the House of Mirrors. Then we'll move to the rollercoasters!" Boris grinned excitedly.  
"I can't wait! I love rollercoasters!" I exclaimed, _once I get over my anxiety._  
"_You_ love rollercoasters? I wouldn't have guessed." Alice mused, and I flinched.  
"Once I'm on them, I love them, I haven't been on many- but the thrill of rollercoasters is like no other thrill." I grinned.  
"Welcome home, Boris!" The Park's workers exclaimed.  
"Welcome back, Katelynn and Alice! Welcome, Sir Peter!" The workers added.  
I blinked. "_Sir_ Peter?"  
Peter glanced over his shoulder. "I'm the Prime Minister of Heart Castle, it's just a proper title."  
I tilted my head. "Prime Minister? What's _that_?"  
"There are Prime Minister's in our world, Katelynn." Alice reminded me.  
"Not in _my_ country." _I think..._  
"What? England has-"  
"Holy crap! You think I'm _English_? Awesome!" I clapped happily.  
"Ehh... you're not?" Alice blinked, as we followed Boris into the Amusement Park.  
"No... so what's a Prime Minister?"  
"A Prime Minister is-" Peter began.  
"Unimportant." Alice muttered, waving her hand as to brush Peter off.  
"It _is_ Alice! I'm the head of the government." Peter grinned.  
"Wow! Hey, Alice, that sounds important!" I contradicted, then gazed at the Haunted House before me. "Whoa."  
"While you guys were discussing Peter's importance, I led us to our first attraction- the Haunted House!" Boris waved towards the house.  
"Let's go in!" Out of no where, the Twins popped out, crying excitedly.  
"Wait!" Boris held up his hand, and the Twins crashed into each other. "We need a system. That way, if someone gets lost, they won't be alone."  
"The buddy system!" I cried happily.  
"Brother!" The Twins cried, clinging to each other. They were inseperable.  
Boris grinned. "Okay... should I be with Katelynn, or with Alice?" He wondered aloud.  
Peter glanced sadly at Alice, then I felt his eyes on me, and I blushed. "I guess I'll be Katelynn's... er... 'buddy.'"  
I felt my face turn tomato red, and I hid my face behind my hair.  
"Okay, I'll be with Alice! C'mon, Alice, I'll protect you!" Boris cried, grasping the relieved Alice's arm, and followed the Twins into the Haunted House.  
I walked slightly behind Peter. I often stole glances at him, so my blood spiked whenever something jumped out at me- even if I normally wouldn't find it scary. The Twins squealed now and then, and Alice screeched, which always caused Boris to laugh. I was able to bite my tongue- though, with the mix of darkness and my anxiety, I could have screamed as often as Alice.  
_ I can barely see a thing; no wonder Alice is so scared!_ I rolled my eyes. The exit from the Haunted House was near- however, as I blinked, a sudden bright, repetetive flashing began, and I became dazzled. I tripped over myself, and I felt someone grasp my arm. I took deep breaths to keep from passing out.  
"Be careful- take my arm if you are fearful of falling."  
I glanced sideways and blushed at Peter. _He's so sweet.. doesn't he hate me?_ Confused by his mixed signals, I shook away his hand, embarrassed, and smiled at him thankfully.  
As we walked outside into the brilliant sunlight, Boris was already guiding us to our next stop. "Off to the House of Mirrors!" Boris stared over his shoulder at us, smirking. "Then, we'll go on a _real_ ride."  
As we headed into the Hosue of Mirors, I became nervous. Once again, my sight was impaired. Which was was the hall, which was a dead end, and which was a mere mirror?  
I stumbled over my feet, trying to follow Peter- however, I, once again, kept my space. Which, I felt was for the best in the end, for I smacked directly into a mirror.  
"Oh! That sounded like it hurt!" Alice cried, hurrying to my side.  
After Boris finished laughing, he turned on Peter. "_You_ are her buddy! Should've kept her from smacking into glass!"  
"Uhh-" Peter had no comeback.  
I rubbed my face, which was sore. I felt stupid for walking into a mirror- but I started laughing. Alice raised an eyebrow, and I knew she doubted my sanity.  
"Did you boggle your head a bit?" Boris asked, grinning.  
"The miss feels no pain!" Dee cried.  
"That's good!" Dum chimed in.  
"C'mon, I'll guide you out of the maze... cause your buddy _s-cks_." Boris stuck his tongue out at Peter, who snubbed his nose to the air.  
We exited the House of Mirrors quickly after my incident.  
"Okay... everyone remember Katelynn's a klutz. Now that that's mentally noted, where should we go next? The Drop Tower, or a rollercoaster? I wanna save the teacups 'til last." Boris grinned. _He's so evil!_ I thought, smiling inside.  
"The Drop Tower!" I grinned- "my" Drop Tower was the Starblaster at Canobie Lake Park. I had no doubt that Wonderland's was going to be better.  
"Off to the Drop Tower!" Boris pointed in the direction of the Drop Tower, and his grin never left his face.  
With Alice's platinum card- which I was jealous of- we were able to cut the line. There were three seats per side of the Tower; Peter sat, then myself, followed by Dum- on the side adjacent was Dee, Alice and finally Boris.  
As I was strapped in, I was shaking in my seat. I could feel the adrenaline already pulsing through me.. and the ride had yet to start. _This_ Drop Tower was twice as high as Canobie Lake Park's- so I didn't doubt that it was faster, as well. I gripped onto my seat tightly, and I felt my palms sweat and my knuckles turn white. I clenched my jaw tightly, as I brached myself for "lift off."  
I spared a glance at Peter, who seemed unphased and completely cool; Dum, on the other hand, looked frighteningly excited, and as if he was about to jump out of his seat.  
Then, the ride shot up.  
I recognized by now, Alice's screaming- the Twins yelped, and Boris' laugh made me want to laugh, too. I turned to see how Peter had taken it- but I lifted out of my seat, as it returned up. _This is why fast rides scare me- I feel as if I'm going to fly out of my seat!_ When the ride began to drift back down, I turned to Peter, and saw hims miling, his eyes wide. I couldn't supress a smile when i saw this priceless face, which I believed would be a rare sight.  
As I was unstrapped, I skipped over to the exit, and waited next to Boris for the others. We both must have looked half crazy, with wide eyes, and grinning from ear-to-ear.  
"Jeez, that was pretty... err, thrilling, to say the least." Alice gasped.  
"Awesome, right?" Boris turned around, not waiting for a reply. "Okay, off to the rollercoaster!"  
"Can't we at least take a breather?" Alice asked.  
"No, no, no! Let's go, go, go!" The Twins clapped, running after Boris. "Lets go on the backwards rollercoaster!"  
"_Backwards_ rollercoaster?" Alice questioned.  
"Flashback?" I asked, thinking of my eighth grade band field trip to Six Flags.  
"I guess you could call it that." Boris flashed Alice's card, and we boarded the coaster.  
Boris sat up front with Alice, followed by myself and Peter, and finally, the Twins.  
I hated being so close to the front- seeing the flips the coaster made, and then how the track just _stops_... I felt my palms, once again, sweat. I clenched the bar tightly, as well as my jaw. I kenw the fear was in my eyes- there was no mistaking it.  
I heard the rollercoaster director count off, and I squeezed my eyes shut, just to breathe. And, suddenly, I felt pressure on my right hand.  
My eyes flew open to see a white-gloved hand upon my hand. I glanced at Peter and blushed, though he merely smiled reassuringly. "If you're scared, you don't have to worry. I'm here- you'll be safe."  
My heart thumped at his words. Could he really say such things? "But don't you-"  
I couldn't finish my sentence, as the rollercoaster shot off. I bit my tongue quickly to keep from screaming, and I felt warmth flood my mouth. I must have bitten down too hard- I had started bleeding.  
As the rollercoaster looped, I tightened my grip on the safety bar, and I felt myself hit the bar. Whenever I tightened my grip, Peter did the same; that went for whenever I loosened my grip as well... however, that was far more rare an occurence.  
I lurched forward, as the coaster came to a high halt. _Sh-t,_ I thought, _now we're going to have to do all of that backwards._ I recalled being on the _Flashback_ at Six Flags- my neck had crakced when we corkscrewed backwards. Would my neck _break_ on this ride?  
"Ready, Katelynn?" Boris glanced over his shoulder, grinning at me, before glancing quickly at Peter, before back to me.  
I shook my head vigorously, and felt my body lurch along with the rollercoaster. I strained to keep my mind on Peter- that fact that he was so close... _and_ holding my hand. I barely felt how the whole Amusement Park spinned as we flipped- I was too absorbed in my happiness.  
_ A momentary happiness... that I'll cherish forever._  
When the ride stopped, and my body convulsed a final lurch, my fear fleed and was replaced by my most favourite drug- adrenaline.  
Peter, seemingly reluctantly, released my hand and exited the coaster. I followed in pursuit.  
Casting a glance from side to side. Boris and the Twins looked like madmen- Alice looked like she was going to be sick. Peter seemed unphased. I, however, felt my neck was stiff- whenever I went to crack it, though, a spasm coursed through my spinal cord, and along with it, pain.  
"One more ride!" The Twins delcared, jumping into the air.  
"Not for you two."  
My head shot to the voice, and saw Elliot. _It's been a while since I've seen him..._ Then i glanced at the Twins. _Or anyone from the Mansion, in that case._  
"Stupid newbie hare! We wanna go on one more ride!" Dum frowned.  
"Stupid chickie rabbit! Let us go on one more ride!" Dee frowned.  
"I think Elliot's _jealous_ 'cause he couldn't go on anything." Boris stuck out his tongue.  
"Shut up, you stupid cat! Don't be _ridiculous_, I have no time for these rides- and neither do these two!" Elliot declared, poitning at Dee and Dum.  
"Boo!" Dum cried.  
"Let's go, you good-for-nothing gatekeepers." Elliot muttered, walking away. Dee and Dum followed reluctantly, but not until after they waved goodbye.  
I felt Elliot was a bit harsh on the Tweedle Twins- they were just boys. I glanced at the sky- the sun was at it's peek. I wondered how many time shifts we had been here. I turned to Alice. "Should we head back to the Clock Tower?"  
"What? No way! One more ride- the teacups!" Boris pleaded, glancing at the three of us- Alice, Peter, and myself.  
"Yeah, okay, the teacups. That doesn't sound too bad." Alice smiled, and we headed toward the attraction.  
Once again, we cut the line. I was enjoying Alice's platinum card, and was growing quite envious of not owning one myself. I could spend endless hours at the Park.  
We settled into the teacup. It was so that Alice and I were crammed between the two boys. Though I didn't mind, Alice seemed unhappy. Then, I noted that there was no wheel in the center of the tea cup- nor were there any safety harnesses of some sort. I was instantly covered in a sense of dread. From the previous rides, I had no doubt that this ride would be horrifically fast... so what was I to hold onto?  
The ride started, and at first, quite slowly. However, I could feel it speeding up. Boris glanced at Alice, then at me, and smirked. "You girls might want to hold on."  
"To _what_?" Alice and I asked in unison. However, the ride shot off- we began spinning at incredible speeds. Alice and my instincts took over- she grasped onto Boris, as I held onto Peter.  
My head began to spin after a few second of the ride- however, Boris and Peter both had large smiles plastered to their faces.  
_ What a dreadful ride!_ I thought. _The most twisted tea cup ride I've ever been on... and now I'm clinging to Peter for dear life!_  
When the ride lunged to a halt, it sent everyone crashing into each other. Both Alice's and my own grips broke, and we collided into the opposite partner- myself into Boris, and Alice into Peter. Alice immediately seemed aggravated.  
When we got off, the whole Amusement Park was spinning, and I felt myself stumble multiple times. Neither the Drop Tower nor the rollercoaster accomplished to make me sick- but now I knew my time at the Park was over.  
"Well, hello!"  
I had fallen to my knees beside Alice, as we both felt uneasy. Both Peter and Boris stood beside us, relaxing after the long day. It was a surprise for us to see Gowland.  
"Alice, Katelynn, I didn't realize you were at the Amusement Park!" Gowland grinned, then saw Peter from his peripheral vision, and beamed. "What an odd customer- the White Rabbit! You came to enjoy the Amusement Park?"  
"Yes. I was invited." Peter murmured simply, feeling uneasy as he glanced at Boris and then myself.  
"I hope you had fun!" Gowland smiled. "Most of the rides here are made for couples."  
Both Boris' and Peter's faces dropped, and I knew my own stomached flip-flopped. "Couples? Hey, old man, assuming makes an -ss out of you and me!" Boris exclaimed, seeming horrified.  
Gowland blinked, stupefied. "I'm sorry... am I mistaken? It seemed as though a double date was going on..."  
Boris blushed. "Can't four friends jsut hang out at an Amusement Park, without it having to be a date?" There were, however, six of us earlier. When Boris said this, Peter got an odd, quizical look on his face that I could not comprehend.  
"Sure, sure." Gowland grinned, then waved. "Bye, bye, lovebirds."  
"Agh, Gowland!"  
Alice turned to me, smiling. "I think it's time we head home."  
I forced a smile, for I certainly didn't find the Clock Tower "home" quite yet. But, I knew what she meant. "Right."  
"I'll walk you three out." Boris suggested.  
Glancing at Boris, Alice, and Peter, I felt warm inside. Though, I wasn't sure I belonged quite yet, I knew I enjoyed this place enough to not think of going home just yet.


	13. 12: Deja Vu

Chapter Twelve  
Deja Vu

_ "Sometimes, it's best to just let go... Let the past die, 'cause if you don't, I think it's going to end up killing you..."_  
I sat up, sweating in my bed. The advice were words that Hazelle said often.. I guess it was because I often reflected and worried over what has already happened. But, no matter how many times I try, I can't escape the cuffs of my anxiety.  
I hauled myself out of bed, shivering. Darkness loomed over me, and I knew not why. I had no reason to be sad- not right now. Not after having the best day in... a year.  
I thought for a moment- I stood in the middle of my room at the Clock Tower. There was alot I could reflect on, I know. However, I didn't _want_ to think. I wanted to escape.  
I grasped a few dollars and decided to wander to the market. I could use a few journals to write in; I haven't written for so long.  
Glancing around, Alice and Julius were not awake. Although I felt bad for not waiting for either or to wake up, I felt it was the best time to head out.  
I tiptoed outside, and closed the door silently behind me. The day seemed early, but I couldn't tell- the sun was high. I'd been to the makret once to get Julius' clock parts. _That was the day Peter said that I meant nothing to him. That was the day..._  
I opened the door to a paper supplies store. I could have spent forever there- the variety of pens, pencils, sharpeners, and notebooks were seemingly endless. _I loved it._  
Buying a few notebooks and mechanical pencils- I _hate_ pencil sharpeners, I left the store. I kept to the middle of the street, a habit I acquired from back home. The "double-yellow line game" was personal favourite of me and my friends.  
A curled-figure to the left of me caught my eye. I stopped for a moement to see Peter leaning against a tree- his knees curled to his chest, his head low and shadowed, and his ears drooped. I had every impulse to run over and hug him, to ask what was the matter and console him; however, I felt as if there was a barrier around him, warding me off.  
But, I decided to ignore the invisible barrier that I imagined was around Peter- and recognized now the storm cloud that had hung over me earlier. It wasn't uncommon for me to sometimes get a "vibe" about how a day could turn out. _Could_. Sometimes, I was wrong.  
I walked over to Peter silently, he hadn't noticed me. Placing my purchases to the side, I kneeled down beside Peter, and called his name quietly- he seemed _really_ out of it. "Peter?"  
His head shot up, and I saw that a few tears were falling down his face. He quickly whiped them away. "Katelynn! What are you doing here?"  
"I was at the store. What about you, what's the matter?" I asked, sitting by his side.  
Peter glanced away. Then, his face fell, tears continuing to fall. "Alice _hates_ me."  
My heart thumped heavily in my chest. "Alice doesn't hate-"  
"She does! Alice has told me so _many_ times. But I _love_ her. Why doesn't she love me?" Peter pouted, whiping away tears.  
"She doesn't... _hate_ you. Alice is just... rash. She might be... _annoyefd_, but hate is a strong word." I fidgeted uncomfortably. _This conversation feels so familiar._ "C'mon Peter, she's one girl. You shouldn't let her get to you so easily."  
Peter stared at me, his gloomy face growing serious. "I'm not sure if you've ever been in love, but you don't seem to understand. I _need_ Alice- I love her _so_ much..."  
I bowed my head. _Yes, yes. Exact words. They're not familiar- they're deja vu._ I grasped at my heart. _Carsyn said the same thing about Karime, when we were friends..._ I closed my eyes. "Yes... I've been in love. I've lost my love, too." I opened my eyes, and tried my best to control the tears brewing. "I let them go. Sometimes, that's the best you can do for yourself." Thinking for a moment, I backtracked. "But, if you... _really_ do love her... and _really_ think you two can be together, then wait it out- she might come around." I forced a smile.  
Peter's sad eyes turned to me, his gaze boring into my own. "Do you think Alice will ever love me?"  
I paused. "It's... possible. I mean, nothing's _impossible_."  
"I'll take that as a no." Peter bowed his head in his sadness.  
"Ah!-" My heart ached. _It's painful to send the guy you care for into the arms of another girl. But... if Alice makes Peter happy, I have to encourage him, right?_ My eyes welled up. "I'm sorry." I shook my head. "_I'm sorry._" I decided to take a different route." You're a great guy, Peter. There's not doubt _someone_ will fall head over heels for you." _A girl who you would fall for, too._ I thought sadly.  
Pushing my own dark cloud aside, I hugged Peter quickly, then released him. I grasped my bag of writing utensils. Keeping my head low, I added quickly. "Any girl would be lucky to have you, Peter." I hurried off to the Clock Tower, letting my tears fall silently.  
I made sure that my tears were cleared before I entered the Clock Tower Plaza. I thought over my conversation with Peter... and how it mirrored that of my conversation with Carsyn. _I figure it's karma for something. Or evening the playing field- yesterday was a good day, so it only makes sense to neutralize it with a... quite depressing day._  
I opened the door to the Tower and saw Julius and Alice had finally woken up. Alice turned to me, as I shut the door. "Hey, I was wondering where you've been." Although Alice was smiling, Julius seemed disapproving.  
"I went to go get some... stuff to pass the time I have to myself." I smiled, and brushed passed them to my room. Placing my journals away secretively, I crawled into bed.  
_ It's not dark... not outside._ I pulled the covers up over my chin. _It's not cold. But... I'm still left shivering in the sunlight._ Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to disspell the cold. _C-crap._ I gasped, and sobbed.  
_ Don't let him get to you._  
I felt my body shake and heave as dry sobs escaped me.  
_ Just let it die._  
Burying my face into my pillow, I lay; the sound of my gasping mirrored shrieking in my ears. I tried my best to silence myself, and hone in on Julius and Alice- if only to distract myself from myself.  
I knew that, at any second, I could reach my breaking point and I would have an attack. _The more I think of him... The closer I feel to the edge._  
I sat up, holding myself. _I find it so amazing... that someone can make you so euphoric, and then make you so utterly worthless... In a matter of hours... everything can change. And in this case, for the worst._


	14. 13: Hematic Rivulet

Chapter Thirteen  
Hematic Rivulet

_ "Unlike her... you don't have an external reason for your sadness, do you? No... the reasoning for your sadness, is you."_  
"Katelynn! Hey!"  
_ What?_ I sat up, rubbing my eyes. _What... who?_ I felt as if someone had spoken to me before Alice called for me. _Probably Nightmare,_ I thought, and as I did, my heart broke. Even if I _had_ spoken to Nightmare in a while... I never remembered it when I woke up.  
"Katelynn!"  
_ Holy crap... Doesn't Alice realize how long it takes to fully wake up?_ Groaning, I heaved myself off my bed, stumbling towards the door. "What can I do for you?" I asked, trying to revert back to... me, and stay away from my bitter and sarcastic side.  
"We're going to go meet Boris today... at Heart Castle." Although Alice gritted her teeth, I knew what this meant- we were also going to be with Peter! Despite my heart throbbing with sadness, I couldn't help but feel elated with happiness. The two emotions would end up tearing me apart...  
Despite my happiness, I trudged downstairs with my eyes closed. _I see how it's gonna be... one of_ those _mornings... ugh._ I placed my head on the table- I _could_ go to sleep again. Alice slapped her hand on the table and though that would frighten me awake or asleep, I didn't flinch. _Yepp, what a good way to start off the day..._  
"Do you want some tea before we go?" Alice asked, and I shook my head. "Coffee?"  
"Eegads!" I cried, edging my chair away from Alice. "Oh, h-ll no, no coffee!"  
Alice blinked. "Okay... I see that you don't like coffee..."  
"How'd you guess?" I asked sarcastically. I pushed myself out of the chair, with effort. "Let's go."  
Alice led the way to the Castle. Along the way, I mainly zoned out. What was today going to be like? Would Peter be his happy self, tackling Alice the moment he saw her? Or would he still be down in the dumps, unresponsive until provoked? _Well... he must be feeling better! We wouldn't be getting together at the Castle if he was still sad, right?_ I crossed my fingers.  
"Yo!"  
Alice and I stopped at the sound of Boris calling us. "Hey, I thought you were metting us at Heart Castle!" Alice exclaimed.  
"Yeah, well, the old man held me back." Boris rolled his eyes, then jumped next to me. "You _excited_? We're going to go see your _love_." Boris clasped his hands together, dazed off, and sighed affectionately, in a mockery of love.  
"Shush up!" I exclaimed, blushing, brossing my arms across my chest.  
"Oh, gosh, look, it's Minister White now!" Boris exclaimed in a mocking tone, pointing to Peter, who was standing beside a card soldier.  
_ Wanna be sarcastic? I can play too._ "Holy crap, no way! Let's go get his autograph!"  
Boris fell to his knees as he burst out laughing.  
"Hello." Peter called, as he headed over, eyeing Boris wearily, a peculiar expression on his face. Then, he saw Alice, and jumped over to her, giving her a hug. "Alice!"  
"Ugh!" Alice groaned, pushing Peter away.  
Sometimes, I got an urge to tell Peter that I loved hugs; that in my country, it wasn't uncommon for friends to randomly hug each other. But it wouldn't be the same...  
"Come, the maids have set a table for us outside, so we can have tea." Peter gestured for us to follow him.  
Following Peter, nobody spoke. I threw nervous glances at everyone, yet nobody met them. _This feels weird... like the calm before the storm._ I shivered at the thought.  
Sitting down between Boris and Peter- Alice edging her chair as far from Peter as possible- the before-the-storm feeling settled in, despite conversation being made. I couldn't try to understand, I was too lost in my own thoughts.  
_ Lost. In my thoughts? No. In this whole world, I am lost. It's as bad as Earth._  
"_Is it_?"  
I stopped breathing at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. _That's not Nightmare!_ I thought frantically for a face to match the voice, but to fail. About to ask, to my horror, I noticed that Alice, Boris, and Peter were still talking amongst themselves, occasionally sipping tea.  
I grasped at my dress tightly. _Am I going insane?_ My heartbeat raced- it wasn't uncommon for me to mistake hearing something, but if I was making up voices, _that was bad_.  
"Ah! I just spilled tea on me!" Alice cried, then groaned.  
I jumped up, eager to get away. "I can go get some napkins-" As I headed off, however, a deafening _crack_ was heard, matched by a whistling.  
Searing pain overwhelmed as, and I fell to my knees. It felt like the side of my head was on fire, and as I went to touch it, my hand returned to my vision covered in blood.  
The pain was unbearable... I passed out to the sound of screaming.

-Alice's Point of View-

A wrong flick of my hand, and tea is all over my lap. "Ah!" I cried in shock. "I just spilled tea on me!"  
Katelynn, who had been silent this whole time, was kind enough to jump up. "I can go get some napkins-"  
But she was stopped midsentence; she collapsed to the ground, blood flowing from her head like a rivulet. I began screaming subconsciously, a jerk reaction to seeing someone shot, despite it being natural in Wonderland. _But Katelynn's an outsider! Who would shoot an outsider, and why?_  
I was barely conscious of my thoughts- terror seized hold of my brain. I scarcely noticed that both Boris and Peter had pulled out their own guns, guarding Katelynn. Or, maybe, hoping for a revenge shot. _But, they couldn't possibly havve seen who it was... I didn't._  
I ran to Katelynn's side, kneeling by her. My hand flew to my mouth. _Blood... so much blood!_  
It seemed like hours... but could have been seconds until Boris and Peter joined me next to Katelynn. _Is she dead, is she dying? I should check her heartbeat._  
But, Boris already knelt into her chest, listening for the soft sound. Relief poured over me when he nodded- the signal that he had heard her heartbeat. _But what do we do to stop the bleeding?_  
"Okay, how do we stop the bleeding?" Boris asked, speaking aloud my thoughts.  
"Towels?" _We can't move her, and paper towels are far too thin for such a wound._  
Boris stood up and bolted off, not thinking twice.  
I was paralyzed to my spot next to Katelynn. I could look at nothing but at the blood surrounding her head, dripping closer to me. _Boris!_  
Was it minutes? Was it hours? Boris returned with more towels than he could see over. He instantly wrapped one around Katelynn's head, and tried to sop up the blood around her with another.  
_ I wish the adrenaline and fear would go away... just so I could have a sense of time_. Was she still losing blood at a steady pace, or was it slowing down? Did this mean she'd come around, or that she would die? _I don't think Wonderland has ever heard of a blood transplant!_  
As the sun began to set, her bleeding ebbed off. _Don't let it become night- it can't be time to move her yet!_ I glanced at Peter and Boris, knowing I had to voice this. "Y-" My voice came out in an ugly, strangled choke- and I coughed, trying to calm myself and speak normally. "You guys... we can't move Katelynn just yet."  
"If it gets dark-" Boris started.  
"Boris, she just got shot in the head! She _can't_ be moved!" Did my shaking voice sound convincing?  
"Then we'll just have to stay out her with her." Peter said simply. I was shocked to the point that I was stunned- did that _really_ just come out of _Peter's_ mouth? Or was I imagining that for Katelynn's sake?  
As it rapidly became the "dead of night," we staked out next to Katelynn. With the un-bloodied towels, we had make-shift pillows. Again, I was astonished, as Peter lent his jacket for Katelynn to use as a pillow. _He'll sacrfice his jacket for her, but he won't hug her? What kind of crap is this?_  
As I was about to fall asleep, I heard two "ker-chanks." I knew that Peter and Boris were sleeping with their guns locked and loaded, in case we had a surprise visitor.


	15. 14: Rebound

Chapter Fourteen  
Rebound

_ Oh, hey, I've got a bad-ss migrane._ Reaching for my head, I heard my wrist crack. _Urgh... my brain's still half asleep._ Placing my hand against the ground, attempting to sit up, something plopped down behind me. Paying it no attention, I felt I was awake enough for my arm to work correctly. My head had a tingly, yet light feeling. Pressing my hand against the side of my head, I flinched- a bullet hole grazed my head. Gentler this time, I felt my head again. The hole wasn't deep, nor very long, and wasn't near any vital areas. However, when I pulled my hand away, my hand was stained with the blood that was now caked around the open wound. It was to be expected that a head would would be bloody and messy- I should be lucky that I'm alive and functioning correctly.  
Glancing around me, the scene was not much better. Boris and Alice lay in front of me, using towels for pillows. Boris had also lent his fur to keep Alice warm- _it's so adorable how they are sharing it,_ I thought. Behind me, Peter lay, but not as usual- he had on just his pink undershirt. _But where is his jacket?_ The article that had plopped behind me was his jacket- he must have given it to me to use... and it was now stained with a few drops of blood. _D-mn._ However. Peter's jacket hadn't received the worst of it; surrounding all of us were blood soaked towels, and despite them being numerous, blood was still puddled around us, along with a few small clups of my hair. _Agh! Not my hair! Holy crap!_  
I turned my attention to my friends- nobody seemed to be hurt. _Why did they sleep out here? Now I feel guilty and bothersome._ I frowned, and prodded Alice in the back. She fidgeted, but didn't wake up. Repeating this, she rolled over and opened her eyes, which miraculously widened at the sight of me. _I am now the living dead._  
"Katelynn!" Alice cried, hugging me. As she cried my name, both Boris and Peter shot up and held their guns, ready to shoot despite them both looking dreadfully exhausted.  
"Katelynn!" Both, Boris and Peter cried my name in unison, then hugged me at the same time, Blushing, I tried my best to wriggle out of their grasp, but to no avail.  
"I'm so glad that you're okay!" Peter cried, releasing me.  
"I thought you were a goner!" Boris added, releasing me as well.  
"From just this? You've got to be kidding." I shook my head, _nobody else is mentored by doctor Gregory House?_ "Thanks for having some faith in me, too, it's great." I muttered sarcastically, then grasped at Peter's jacket, and glanced at him. "Sorry about your jacket. It's bloody."  
"Of all the..." Alice shook her head, seemingly agitated.  
"No need to be sorry, I didn't want you to be uncomfortable, so it was at my own will that I gave you my jacket." Peter explained, smiling.  
I merely sighed. Despite being full rested, I was exhausted.  
"We should head into the palace... better than being out here." Alice suggested, and no one refused.  
The bloody towels were left on the ground, despite my need to pick them up and throw them away personally. Peter insisted, however, that the maids will do it.  
As we headed for the Castle for some breakfast and a change of scenery, I felt the world spin. _Probably from the loss of blood._ When I thought I was walking straight, my legs were crossing over each other at odd angels, often stumbling me, or forcing me to completely start and attempt to walk correctly again. It didn't go away, and I tripped.  
My knight in _pink_ shining armor, however, caught me. I knew that I was now pinker than his shirt.  
"Are you alright?" Peter asked, still holding onto my hand.  
"Y-yes, thanks." I glanced up at him, and then away, embarrassed. Despite that, though, I couldn't take my hand away from his... they just gradually slipped apart.  
We sat around the main table... Unsure of what to do, I laid my head down, noticing Boris did the same. _Everyone must be exhausted_, I thought, _I don't blame them._  
"What a peculiar scene for us to walk upon."  
Everyone's head shot to the formal voice. "Err, your majesty!" Peter cried, jumping up at the sight of Vivaldi.  
"White, what is going on here? The maids said there is blood outside.. and the Cheshire Cat is within our Castle." Although Vivaldi didn't sound threatening yet, she glared at Boris and I feared for him... and myself. That was _my_ blood in the courtyard!  
"My Queen, a tragic event had occured outside, two time loops ago! An unseen hunter shot at Katelynn on Heart Castle grounds... She is wounded, but healing. As for the Cat, he is Katelynn's friend, and is here to see she is okay." Peter explained in a calm, but quick manner.  
"You were injured on Heart Castle territory?" Vivaldi asked me, and I nodded briskly. "Was it a Heart soldier?"  
"None of us saw, though I _doubt_ it." Boris commented.  
Vivaldi released a sigh of relief. "That is good. You all may remain here until you wish to leave. Excuse us. Vivaldi left, and all of us heaved a breath of relief.  
Alice stood up. "Katelynn, if you're feeling well enough, I think it's best we head off." Alice cast a nervous glance in the direction Vivaldi disappeared to.  
"Wait! Maybe you should just stay-" Peter began.  
"No." Alice interrupted bluntly. "H-ll no. Come on, Katelynn."  
I stood up obediently, and stumbled after Alice. Boris, disrupted from his relaxation, had followed Alice, and was leaving with us. In my attempt to catch up, I was stopped- Peter had grasped my wrist. "When you are feeling better, come visit me, alright?" Peter asked.  
I was hesitant in answering. "O-okay." _I won't see you beforehand?_ "B-bye." He loosened his grip on my wrist, and I pulled free, chasing after Alice and Boris.  
When I caught up to Alice and Boris, they both turned on me. "What did Peter want?"  
"Uhh, I don't know!" I rubbed my head. "He just said to come as soon as I can, to see him."  
Boris and Alice exchanged glances.  
This exchange got me curious. "What?" Silence. "Tell me!"  
"I'm not sure if you noticed..." Boris stated. "Peter just told you to visit him. _You_. Not Alice. I think this is history in the making!" Boris cried, the latter jokingly.  
"Thank _God_, might I add. But, Boris is right... whatever it's for, you should feel... er, special? I mean, since you-" Alice paused, and glanced at Boris, who grinned. She turned on me. "Since when the h-ll does he know?"  
"Ehh..." I shrugged. Time _still_ eluded me, despite having been here for a while.  
Alice rolled her eyes, brushing it off. "I wouldn't expect you to keep him waiting long?"  
"Er, gosh-" I stopped, not allowing myself to become overwhelmed with delight. "Well, I can't seem too, er, eager, so... uh." I stuttered, and then just let the whole fragmented sentence drop. _Fail_.  
Boris laughed. "What a hopeless romantic, you are!" Boris slapped me on the back, smiling. "Well, whatever he has to say, don't falter, and stay safe."  
I stopped walking, and for a few milliseconds, everything just _stopped_. Then I snapped. "_Excuse me_?"  
Boris grinned. "Hey! He is a _perverted_ rabbit!"  
Alice blinked. "Oh- _geez_, Boris, what..-" Alice stopped, then turned on me. "Well, _Katelynn_- ew! You're just as bad as Boris!"  
That I was, if not worse. I was always one to take things out of context, and twist it into something... perverted. However, that was how ninety-five percent of my high school was; the _odd_ people were the ones with _clean_ minds. So, Alice freaking out... _frightened_ me, a bit. It was just unnatural.  
We dropped the conversation, and then split our ways. Waving goodbye to Boris, the rest of the walk to the Clock Tower was in silence. _Now I'm a terrible person because of my sick mind. I try so hard, and yet, I fail all the same, in the end._  
Entering the Clock Tower, I longed for an actual bed to sleep in... and for the time loops to hurry themselves along. But, we still had to explain to Julius where we were, and what happened.  
At the sound of our entrance, Julius crossed the room over toward us, his arms across his chest, glaring. Neither Alice nor I spoke, so Julius took the stage. "Where ,ihave/i you been? First... Katelynn runs off for several time loops, and now the _both_ of you disappear?"  
I flinched, _he really cares for Alice._  
"Julius..." Alice started, and fidgeted uncomfortably. "We were over at Heart Castle and... ran into some trouble." Alice sighed, and started over. "We were at Heart Castle, and Katelynn got shot."  
Julius' eye widened, and turned on me. "You were attacked by a Heart soldier? Are you alright?"  
"I'm fine. But, we don't know who it was. I.. I _doubt_ it was a soldier." I was pretty confident that they liked me.  
Julius sighed. "Alright... forget what I said. It's best for you to go rest." Julius nodded in the direction of my room, and I hurried off.. almost _happily. Just, a few more time loops. Then I can see Peter... but for what? Aw, h-ll I don't actually care. Sleeping is the best way to waste time._ I thought, as I got into my bed, smiling.  
When I woke up, I tried my best to not seem eager to head for the Castle. But, as I sipped my morning tea, I could tell that both Alice and Julius knew how I felt.  
"Look at her, giddy with..." Julius leaned towards me. "Butterflies."  
"Stop that!" I cried, turning away from him, blushing.  
Julius just snickered, sipped his tea, and disappeared.  
"Someone better hurry off, if they don't want to make someone wait." Alice laughed.  
"_Goodbye_!" I cried, heading swiftly out the door. _Thank God! They just can't help themselves, can they?_ I thought bitterly, shaking my head.  
I didn't allow myself to guess what Peter wanted me for- I just didn't have the faintest idea. Besides, what if what he wanted to talk to me about, was something I did, and I thought.. well, anything good. I couldn't allow myself to let myself down... so avoiding the thought completely was best.  
When I arrived at the Castle, and the soldiers greeted me, I could merely nod to them. I was so consumed in my own thoughts and so nervous, I knew that if I attempted to talk, I would end up tongue-tied.  
Entering the Castle, I was overwhelmed with a familiar feeling- that of intimadicy. I glanced around for a maid, and, as quickly and hushed as I could, asked for where Peter was. When the maid answered, I hurried off to find Peter, who was in the audience chamber doing paper work.  
When I found the chamber, I entered slowly, and saw Peter. I felt that with any sudden movement, any sudden sound, he would disappear. Or, I would wake up. _Wait... what?_  
"P-Peter?" I called, so lightly, I was unsure if he would hear me or not.  
He turned to me, and his face brightened. He ran over to me, and hugged me. "Katelynn, you came! And so quickly!"  
_ Sh-t!_ "Err, uhh, you told me to...?" I guessed, failing miserably at being discreet.  
"Yes, and I'm so glad you abided to what I said! Maybe this will go smoother than I planned." Peter exclaimed, before heading back to the desk he was originally at.  
Unsure of whether to follow him or not, I stayed where I was. "W-what exactly do you have planned?" I asked, uneasily.  
Peter returned ot me, and held out a vial. "I need you to drink this, 'kay?"  
I stared at what Peter held in his hand. The vial cap was shaped as a heart, and I felt the uneasiness spread. _It can't possibly be medicine, for he has no idea I'm sick with anything!_ "What is it?"  
"I'll tell you after you drink it, okay?" Peter compromised.  
Although I was tempted to just _trust_ Peter, I didn't. I didn't trust anybody- not easily, and not when they were acting so... _suspicious_. "No."  
Peter's face fell. "Why not?"  
"'Cause, you're acting _very_ suspicious." _And I don't drink sh-t from heart-capped vials!_  
"Do you think I'd do anything to harm you...?" Peter asked slowly.  
I blinked, unsure how to answer, and left him haning.  
Peter sighed. "Well... I didn't expect this to be easy... But this way, it will be ore fun!" Peter drank the mystery liquid.  
While I was wondering why he just drank what he was trying to give me, Peter grasped the back of my head and pulled me close to him, and kissed me. Startled as I was, I became twice so when the liquid began to stream down my throat. Forgetting how to breathe, I panicked, and tried to swallow the liquid as fast as possible.  
Peter pulled away, sighing and intaking heavily.  
I, on the other hand, was panting. _Peter... d-mmit! Not even a_ real _kiss, but there goes my first one!_ "What is your _problem_?" I cried. Peter seemebd bewildered, as I continued. "I could have _choked_ or _died_. Holy crap, I coulldn't breathe!"  
Peter merely smiled, seemingly relieved. _What did he think I was going to say?_  
"So? What did you just make me drink?" I asked.  
"It's called the 'medicine of the heart.' Once drinked, the outsider is forced to play the game, and is unable to leave this world until that vial is filled." Peter explained.  
_ But I've been here for a while now... and have had no intentions onleaving._ "How do I get the vial to fill?  
"Interact with the people of this world." Peter said simply.  
I blinked. _That's easy._ "Why are you giving this to me now. I've been here for a while."  
"And could have left. But, I don't want you to leave." Peter confessed, cornering me to the wall.

_What the f-k?_ "W-who said I wanted to leave?" I stuttered. _D...d-mn!_  
Peter blinked, then leaned closer to me. "You didn't have _any_ thoughts of leaving?"  
I faltered- Peter was _so close_. His breath was in my face, flustering my thoughts. _I'm so... pathetic!_ I had to remind myself to answer Peter. But, this was... a hard question. "U-uh.."  
Peter pressed his lips ever so gently against my ear. "That's what I thought."  
Suddenly, adrenaline coursed through me, and my heart was pounding. I wanted nothing more than to turn to him and kiss him.. But a single thought nagged on me. "But you hate me."  
Peter's eyes widened and he staggered a few steps backwards, as if the words had physically harmed him. "What?  
I blinked. "You told Alice that I was nothing to you. Just another faceless in the Country of Hearts."  
Peter didn't respond right away. "You... weren't there."  
"Yeah, I was. But, I ran away. I was... eavesdropping, you could say." I admitted.  
"Katelynn, that was so long ago!" Peter exclaimed.  
I wanted to believe every word he said.. because it was everything that I wanted to hear. Instead, I ran. I ran out of the chaber, exiting the Castle, and away from the Castle.  
_ "It's just impossible for you to be happy... isn't it?"  
Yes, Hazelle, yes. It's a hundred percent impossible_, I thought frantically. I headed into the trees, as I slowed my pace. Leaning against a tree, I steadied my heartbeat.  
_ I can't be happy. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve Peter; I don't deserve this world. I should be rotting back on Earth._


	16. 15: O Amor Dun Corazon Puro

Chapter Fifteen

O Amor Dun Corazon Puro

"I'd be careful where you fall asleep, Katelynn. It gets dangerous out here at night."

"Yeah, I know." I opened my eyes, answering Nightmare vocally. I hear his voice... but can't see his face. Sitting up, I remembered yesterday. This is the second time I've run away, to fall asleep in the woods. But, this time, it wasn't from Julius, but from... I shivered. Peter.

Since I met Peter, all I have wanted is everything he gave to Alice. I wanted to feel his warm embrace, his loving gaze, his sweet words, and maybe even a kiss from his appealing lips. Yet, when we were so close, I ran. I left him there... why? Was it really all because I didn't want to be happy? Or is it more? Maybe, deep down, I know he's a liar...

I stood up, and brushed myself off. Maybe I shouldn't head straight to the Plaza... Julius might get angry with me, I though, recalling the two other times I had been out after dark.

Tick.

I blinked, and gazed around me. What was that?

Tock.

I followed the sound of the noise.

T-tock.

Was it growing louder, softer? Was it all in my head...?

T-t-tick.

I recognized the sound by now- the ticking of a clock. But, from the sounds of its stuttering, it was broken. Kneeling down, pushing away some branches, revealed the clock. The glass covering the hands was broken, and the hands themselbes were acting odd. If I fix this clock, maybe Julius won't hate e so much! I though, and I believed that I could do it. So, I headed to work.

-Peter's Point of View-

"Aww, c'mon, Sir Peter, this'll be fun." Ace smiled at me with his idiotic grin, which rarely left his face, and often made me want to shoot him.

"Yes, it would be fun, Ace, if I didn't have to do maids work." The Queen had just announced that Heart Castle would be hosting a dance. Events were rare and weren't taken lightly. Everyone pitched in form everyone went to events.

"Oh!" That's right... Alice and Katelynn would be the last to know about an event. My heart panged at both girls names- neither seemed to care for my existence. But that doesn't give me a reason to not invite them! Sneaking off to my room, I made two seperate invitations for the girls.

When I completed both invitations, I skipped happily out of my room. Even though Katelynn ran off earlier, I still had a chance to ask her to the dance... right? But, what of Alice? She didn't go to the last dance! What if Katelynn doesn't go because Alice won't go? What if I don't know which girl I want to go to the dance with more? I frowned, how troublesome it was to have two outsiders in Wonderland at once.

Glancing both ways, I walked confidently through the palace, hoping nobody would notice my exit, and began my journey to the Clock Tower Plaza. I had been there enough times to see Alice to know where it was. I just hope the girls are there! Remembering my last time being a messenger, I tensed up. And not getting raped.

Not bothering to knock, I walked into the Clock Tower. "Katelynn! Alice!"

"Eh? Peter?" Alice cried, cringing.

By now, I was used to how Alice acted around me, and often ignored it. Stared at the near-empty room. "Where is Katelynn? I must talk to her, too!"

Was that a glimmer in her eyes? "Not here. Not sure when she'll be back, either." Alice put simply.

I frowned, but handed Alice both invitations. "The palace is holding yet another dance! I was hoping you and Katelynn could attend."

"Blast it! What are you doing here, you devil rabbit?" Julius Monrey groaned at the sight of me.

I grinned. "Hello, clock maker. I came here to invite Alice and Katelynn-"

"Katelynn's not here." Julius interrupted.

My grin became menacing. "So I've heard. Happen to know where she is?"

"She didn't return from Heart Castle." Julius retorted, his eyes glinting. "You don't know where she is?"

"No," I can't say anything of our little tiff, or else I would be blamed for her running off. "Have you looked for her? She may have run into trouble; can she fend for herself?" My thoughts raced for Katelynn, yet I tried to calm down. I'm supposed to love Alice... only Alice! So, why do I feel like this?

"Looking for Katelynn is like looking for Ace. It's bet to just wait for her." Julius shook his head. "Unless you want to go find her yourself, go back to the palace. I'm pretty sure they're going to need their Prime Minister."

"Hmph." I glared at Julius. What do I do? Katelynn could be out there, hurt, or-

The door opened, revealing an unahrmed Katelynn. Or she could be perfectly fine...

"Sorry, I'm-" Katelynn started, before seeing me. "Peter?"

"Hello, Katelynn!" I waved happily. I couldn't discern the emotions on her face and within her eyes. Was it surprise, or was it fear?

"Peter's been looking for you." Was it just my ears deceiving me, or did the clock maker stress my name?

"R-really? What's up?" Katelynn asked. So sweet.. so innocent. She's wonderful...

Stop that! You love Alice- that's why you brought her to Wonderland! "I just brought an invitation to the ball that Heart Castle will be hosting soon." I smiled, though I cringed inside. The same reason Katelynn is unable to leave Wonderland..

"Uh- are outsiders allowed to stuff like that?" Katelynn asked, blinking in confusion. My heart swelled, her aloof expression was so cute.

"Of course!" I exclaimed. The only good part to the dance, I added secretly.

"But they are not required to, like rolerholders." Julius explained, and I glared at him. Was he trying to disuade Katelynn from going?

"Ohh, that's okay. Balls aren't really my thing..." Katelynn trailed off, shrugging.

"You won't go?" I exclaimed.

Katelynn merely shrugged, her eyes staring at the ground by her feet. Then, her eyes shot up, and she dashed over to the clock maker, and grasped his hand. "Julius!" She led him away, skipping.

I let my ears droop, and my shoulders fall. Katelynn won't even go to the ball, let alone with me.

"Why so depressed?"

My eyes shot to Alice, forgetting for a moment that she was there. "Oh, nothing."

Alice blinked, crossed her arms across her chest, and looked away. "Go on, you can tell me."

Despite her bored tone, I broke. "I wanted Katelynn to go to the dance with me!"

Surprise spread through Alice's face, and shock widened her eyes. "Really? I'd expect you to ask me."

"Would you-" I began, in a fruitless attempt.

"No! I just didn't know you liked Katelynn, as well!" Alice seemed frusterated... and a bit disgusted.

"Well..." I paused, trying to think of a way to explain without Alice becoming jealous. "I am of Wonderland, am I not? And Katelynn is an outsider, no? It's only natural..."

"Then the same goes for your feelings for me, right?" Alice flared. "Everyone's feelings really are just a lie, aren't they?"

"What? No! Ah-" I stammered, surprised by her sudden outburst.

"Get out, Peter! Unless you can come up with a better reason than us being outsiders, neither of us are going!" Alice pushed me out of the Clock Tower door, and slammed the door shut behind me.

I don't get it! What did I say this time? No matter how I try to come off, Alice is always angry with me. I frowned, and bowed my head, beginning my lonely terek home.

-Katelynn's Point of View-

Heading into the Tower, I kept my head low, guilt already overwhelming me. "Sorry I'm-" I glanced up, and saw Peter. Horror fell over me, what is Peter doing here? "Peter?"

"Hello, Katelynn!" Peter seemed happy enough, but I was afraid of how he felt of my reaction, from the other time loop.

"Peter's been looking for you." Julius' eyes flashed with amusement, and stressed on the words "Peter" and "you."

I flinched. "R-really?" I stuttered. "What's up?"

"I just brought an invitation to the ball that Heart Castle will be hosting soon." You're inviting me? My heart fluttered, but only for a moment.

"Uh- are outsiders allowed to stuff like that?" It sounds fancy.. I didn't even go to my own homecoming, why would I go to a ball- or be allowed to go?

"Of course!" Peter exclaimed. I fidgeted uneasily. ,iDo you want me to go, Peter? Spit it out in words, if you do. If you don't say something, I just have to expect that you're being nice./i

"But they are not required to, like roleholders." Julius ecxplained. Roleholders...

"Ehh... That's okay. Balls aren't really my thing..." I trailed off. Balls aren't my thing, dances aren't my thing, castles and dresses- I'm a completely different person here in Wonderland!

"You won't go?" Peter exclaimed, and I couldn't tell if he was disappointed or relieved.

I shrugged, and suddenly, I remembered why I had returned late- clock!/i I could feel the now-fixed clock in my pockets. I glanced at Julius and dashed over to him, cryng out his name. Grasping his hand, I pulled him into a secluded area.

"Katelynn, are you mad?" Julius exclaimed, flustered.

Yes, I'm mad. I'm completely bonkers- but you know what they say... "Julius!" I grasped the clock, and held it out to him.

He was stunned silent for a few moments. "Why do you have a clock?"

"Listen, listen!" I held the clock closer to Julius, and he leaned in. "It sounds okay, right?"

"Yes, it's perfectly fine. Why?" Julius asked, taking the clock.

"I fixed it!" I smiled, but Julius seemed horrified.

"Wha-?" Julius frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I found it, and it was broken! I thought I'd help you out, and fix it. It took all day, but I'm glad I was able to finish!" I smiled, a bit proud of myseklf.

"Katelynn, you shouldn't have. You could've just brought it to me..." Julius trailed off, and sighed. "Don't get your hands too dirty, okay?"

"I won't! I hate germs!" I cried, and suppressed a shiver.

"That's... not- ugh, you sound like a certain Prime Minister!" Julius groaned, slapping his face with his palm. "I mean... I'm hated as my job of a clock maker."

"Why?" What a lame reason to hate someone!

"Uh- nevermind that." Julius glanced away. Is he hiding something? "Just- thank you, for your help." Julius glanced at the clock, and he squeezed it. What's going through his mind right now?

Suddenly, I heard the door slam. Alice must have gotten rid of Peter... how am I supposed to feel about that? "I-I'm going to bed. Uh... ask me for help if you need it, okay? I like fixing clocks- and I bet it'd be even more fun with you!" I smiled, and waved. "Goodnight!"

-Peter's Point of View-

"How should I know the answer to that?" I groaned.

"You are the only person who would know the answer." Nightmare mused.

"You know, don't you?" I exclaimed.

"I know what I would like to be the answer." Nightmare shrugged. "But it might not match your actual feelings."

"Tell me- why is Katelynn here?" I need to know!

"Don't you know?" Nightmare asked, smirking. "I am the reason Katelynn is here."

"You? Then why haven't you made her fall in love with you?" I exclaimed.

"I don't want her to fall in love with me." Nightmare loomed over me- I was taller than him, until he started floating. "She's here for you to love her."

"M-me? But- I love Alice!" I cried in surprise.

"But Alice doesn't love you, foolish rabbit." Nightmare snapped. "Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to walk away." Nightmare shook his head. "You act like you don't love Katelynn."

"Eh, uh, I do, I, Alice-" I tilted my head. I'm so confused!

"I give you the girl with the purest heart that I could find- knowing that I would fall in love with her, too. But you won't love her? You won't try to except your feelings? Maybe I should make her fall in love with me." Nightmare ranted.

I pulled out my clock, holding it tight, ready to turn it into my pistol. "Try."

Nightmare snorted. "Don't forget, Peter... you're in my territory, now. Don't try something you'll regret."

Katelynn is here just for me.. But that doesn't mean she loves me. I frowned. But, Alice doesn't, either. Katelynn and Alice aren't the same girls... Okay, I'll make Katelynn fall in love with me!

Nightmare grinned mischievously. "Sounds like a good plan."


	17. 16: Unbeknownst To Me

Chapter Sixteen

Unbeknownst To Me...

"I think this is the _slowest_ I've ever seen you move. What's the matter with you?"

_I woke up. _Yawning, I sat down at the table. Alice was surprised that I wasn't more excited about going to have tea with Peter and Boris. However, she didn't know how confused I was about Peter, who constantly sent me mixed signals. Also, I didn't even like tea that much. What was my incentive, again?

"I think she's faking it... she's just so _nervous_ around Peter." Julius sighed mockingly.

"Eh? I'm not nervous, I just-" I groaned, knowing there was no way I was winning this battle. "Okay, are you ready, miss rush-alot?" Biting my tongue, sarcasm was my backup comeback that didn't contain yelling or swearing. I guess that's why it s-cked.

"Ready whenever you are, slowpoke." Alice retorted.

I moaned, a bit exaggeratingly, and followed Alice out of the Tower.

The last time we went to meet Boris and Peter, I got shot. The odd thing was, after that day, I almost completely forgot about the semi-hole in my head. Not that I would want to remember the sensation of the bullet, it's just rare for me to forget such a negative occurence.

Maybe that's why I'm randomly remembering it now.

"Yo!"

Suddenly, a black-gloved hand was waving in my face. Out of instinct, I flinched backwards. "Personal space, much?"

"I called your name, like, _twice_." Boris sighed.

"Oh, _God_, not _twice_." I mocked him.

"Oh yeah, twice." Boris nodded, as Alice let out a squeal.

"Yay, he really did it!" Alice cried, out of view.

Boris and I followed her, to see her gushing with happiness, while holding a tiny white bunny; wearing a red waistcoat and glasses, he was admittedly cute.

"Katelynn, you prefer Peter's bunny form, right? He should stay in this form rather than his human form, right?" Alice asked, hugging bunny-Peter, who was sitting on her lap.

I stared at the rabbit, only now making the connection between Peter's bunny-form and his human-form. Despite the connections, however, I still found it hard to believe that it was Peter, now sitting on Alice's lap happily. My disbelief made my head spin. I fell to my knees, and grasped my head, and cried. "_My brain's twitching_!"

Boris clutched at his stomach, as he began laughing. Peter and Alice, on the other hand, were stunned silent, and had no clue what I meant. I figured as much.

"Uh, I don't think your brain should be doing that." Alice commented.

_No sh-t, sherlock_, I thought.

"Ha! I think it's hard for her to picture the Prime Minister as a cute widdle wabbit." Boris said in a baby-voice.

This obviously irritated Peter, who glared at Boris, but did not say anything. Instead, he contented himself by Alice petting him.

_Not only does he have rabbit ears... but he can turn into a rabbit, too? He's cute, but I can't help but feel... a bit weird. And... a bit sad._ Seeing Peter in this form made me think of my rabbit; animals in general. My rabbit hated me.. when I took him out, he clawed at me, and tried to rape me. So, he often never left his cage. I never hurt him, though, and always took care of him, and loved him... from a distance. The same went for other animals- well, except for cats. They seemed to like me. But dogs, birds, ferrets... they enjoyed attacking me. Some dogs just have to approach me for me to be scared out of my sock.

"Wow, White, you can get Alice to drool all over you in that form, eh?" Boris commented.

I frowned, reflecting on my earlier thoughts about Peter's mixed signals, and confirmed it true. I lowered my head- not only in fear of Peter's rabbit-form, but also in sadness. _Why can't he just love me?_

I sat down, scooching slightly from Alice. Peter was adorable- his cuteness reminding me of what called me to my rabbit. But my rabbit has a coat color similar to Elliot's ears, with a white underbelly. Unlike Peter's perked ears, my rabbit's were flopped downwards. He was, of course, a Holland Lop.

_Plop!_

I blinked, as a furry face smiled up at me from my lap. I felt my face scrunch up in fear, the same reason my heart began to pound.

"Katelynn~!" Peter cried happily. His voice was higher than normal, and I couldn't tell if it added to his cuteness, or was just annoying.

...It added to his cuteness.

"Bahh, I wish he would stay in this form _forever_~!" Alice sighed happily.

"U-uhh, yeah." I stuttered, and felt myself blush.

"You don't _like_ this form of me, do you, Katelynn?" Peter asked, his face crest-fallen and his ears drooping.

"A-ah!" I cried, unable to gather my thoughts. "N-no! That's not... you're... very cute, Peter." I admitted, hanging my head.

"Wait 'til you hear what she thinks of your human form." Boris muttered under his breath, and jabbed him in the gut, making him gasp for air.

Luckily, Peter hadn't heard him- or paid no attention to him.

"Oh, you think so? I'm so happy~!" Peter cried in his squeaky little voice, and I cringed inside. _This... rabbit... he's part of Peter- is Peter... and, if I'm supposed to believe I've a crush on him, I'm to like every part of him. That includes... his bunny form. _I felt so confused. Peter was adorable- but my fear of animals was too strong for me to immediately, and outright gush over him, as Alice did.

"Won't you pet me, Katelynn? I assure you that my coat is clean, and softer than the average rabbit!" Peter declared, smiling up at me.

_Fat chance,_ I thought. _I owned a Mini Rex- those rabbits coats are made of velvet._ I frowned at the thought of my deceased pet, and looked away. Gently, and pain-stakingly slowly, I placed my hand on Peter's head, and petted him. I gulped uneasily, and felt my head spin. Peter seemed to enjoy it, for he was smiling- but that only made my head spin faster. _You've got to calm down!_ I felt like I was going to puke.

"He's so cute!" Alice gushed, grasping bunny-Peter, and hugging him tightly.

I nodded weakly, taking deep breaths.

"I think Katelynn prefers human-Peter." Boris commented, and I glared at him, but didn't reply. I hope Peter didn't hear that.

The moment after Boris said that, Peter jumped between Alice and myself, and was replaced by a blinding light. I shielded my eyes and flinched on instinct. In the spot was now Peter- back in human form. It was obvious, he _had_ heard Boris.

"Ooo, tea!" Boris exclaimed as Heart Castle maids brought out four cups on a tray, and goodies on another.

The aroma of tea was heavenly- my favourite part of tea. The taste was, however, lacking in flavour. No fruity sensation, no sweet sensation- such as chocolate or caramel- nothing like that. I twinged at the taste of tea- yet it was not as terrible as coffee. The mere scent of coffee can send me running for the hills.

"Ah, the old man just told all of the workers about the dance. Guess that makes it officially... official, eh?" Boris shrugged. "I bet the workers are counting down the days."

"As are the maids. It's a bit more work setting the whole ball up, but they're excited for a day off." Peter sighed. "As am I."

"You? You blow off your work all the time!" Alice cried accusingly.

"Not _true_!"

I smirked- it was true. Peter did ditch being the Prime Minister alot. But, it was not only that that was true... The ball was drawing closer. Despite Alice having told Peter we weren't going- which she later informed me of- we both went searching for dresses. Despite my want to have fun, balls weren't my thing, and going without Peter... It was looking like I wouldn't be going.

"Ah, there you are! Minister White!"

Peter glanced up, and instantly became aggravated. "Do you have need of me?"

"Minister White, the Queen is in need of you." The card soldier- five of hearts- gasped. He was practically panting.

Alice stood up. "Oh. If Peter has to go, we can just go to the Clock Tower, or the Amusement Park."

Peter glanced at her, and seemed pained. Sighing heavily, he grabbed hold of his clock, which- I am not sh-tting you- turned into a gun before my eyes. In an instant, he shot at the soldier- but, Peter missed purposefully. Horrifyingly enough; the card soldier stood where he was, despite the fear that was plain on his face, and, no doubt, on mine. _Is Peter a secret psycho?_

"Agh, Peter, quit it!" Alice groaned. _Oh, crap, has he done this before?_

"I guess I must go be with the Queen." Peter sighed again, and the card soldier sighed as well- unlike Peter, his was in relief.

"Right. Well, bye." Alice waved, and she and Boris headed off- exactly where, I'm unsure.

I stood up and tried to follow them, yet again, I was grapsed by the wrist, and held hostage. Once again, it was Peter who pulled me back.

"Katelynn... before you go, I wanted to ask you something." Peter's sentence was fragmented, and it seemed hard for him to find the perfect words to say.

"W-what's that?" I asked, unsure if I wanted to know. I had learned two uneasy attributes of Peter in one short day- was it right for me to still long for him?

"Katelynn.. will- I know..." Peter stopped, and sighed. "I know you said you weren't going to go to the ball, but please reconsider. I'd thoroughly enjoy it if you considered going to the dance with me."

My heart thudded in my chest... almost painfully. _Did he really just ask me? _I felt an instantaneous wave of happiness wash over me.

Peter frowned from my lack of an answer. "Please... I know you believe I hate you- but that's so far from the truth."

I felt faint from his words. Peter White was asking me to the dance- this was completely surreal. "You're... not asking Alice?"

Peter's eyes became downcast. "Alice... I didn't think of asking her, I thought only of you."

I smiled, despite the tears in my eyes. I hugged Peter in my happiness. "Yes, Peter, yes! I would like nothing more than to go with you."


	18. 17: We're Off to Cavort

Chapter Seventeen

We're Off to Cavort

It was the day of the ball.

I had locked myself in my room, and was laying on my bed. Roaming through my pocket, I pulled out the tiny little vial. I eyed the vial uneasily- it was over halfway full. _Soon, I'll have to choose- do I go back home, or do I stay here, in Wonderland?_

I hid the vial in my pocket- out of sight, out of mind. With that, I spared a glance at my closet. In it, held my ball gown. I felt hideous and awkward in it, but nonetheless, I would be wearing it to the dance tonight. Hopefully Peter will like it.

Peter... because we're going together. We'll dance together, be side by side. I blushed at the mere thought, _I can't believe he asked me_! If it was up to me, I wouldn't go at all. But, since _Peter_ asked... I couldn't say no. Oh, and there was Alice. She would force me to go, too, despite her having a date, as well.

_I can't believe the Cat had the balls to ask her!_ I thought, laughing to myself. While I secretly knew that Boris had liked Alice all along, I thought he was too afraid to do anything about it... and I'm glad he finally did.

"Uhh... Katelynn? Are you coming out _ever_?"

I frowned. "I- I'll be right out, Alice."

"...Okay. Be ready to leave for the dance, okay?"

I flinched, then glared darkly at my closet.

"...Okay?" Alice called uneasily after a few moments of silence from me.

"Yeah, I'll be ready." I called, and sighed, heaving myself off of my bed. I inched my way slowly to my closet, and squeezing my eyes shut, opened my closet door and rummaged through it, until I felt my ball gown, and pulled it out. The only thing I liked about it was it's color- a deep violet. I was fearful of putting on the elegant attire.

"Katelynn...?" Alice called.

"I'll be right out, I promise!" I called, trying to keep the agitation from my fear free from my voice.

Glaring at the gown, I placed it on my bed. Slipping out of my everyday-dress, I pulled the gown on. Taking a glance at myself, I blushed and bowed my head. _I look ridiculous! I can't believe I'm doing this- why am I doing this?_

Peter's face came to mind.

I blushed even harder. _R-right! Peter... He asked me to the dance! Still... Still trying to get over the shock of him asking_ me _over Alice!_

Carefully, I opened my bedroom door, after pulling on matching gloves. _This couldn't be mor embarassing..._ I thought, as I closed my bedroom door, readying myself for public eye.

"You look good."

I glanced up to see Julius staring at me with his default indifferent expression. Julius- in a _tux_. I began to blush again, _it just got more embarassing!_ "Ah- Julius! Uh- th... thank you!"

"Peter's going to love you!" Alice exclaimed, popping out from behind Julius. Julius was in a plain black tux as Alice was far more extravagant, in an icy blue, flowy gown, with gloves to match as well. To see them dressed up made me think of Peter and Boris- and thinking of Boris in a tux made me twinge. _That's just not his style!_

"You think so?" I asked, still unsure. _I've been wearing a dress since I came to Wonderland! Figures that by now, I still haven't gotten used to it_. I shivered, _can we head to the Castle now? I just want to get this done and over with..._

"What's the matter? I would have thought you'd be excited, seeing as Peter is your date to this whole thing." Julius mused, frowning.

"I'm just.. nervous." I answered simply. _Really, really nervous_.

"Well, get over it. This is what you wanted, isn't it?" Julius asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Ah-!" I gasped a bit over his sharp tone.

"Jeez, Julius, always so cold! Katelynn has a right to be nervous." Alice turned to me, smiling. "But let's not get carried away. Everything will work out fine in the end- you'll see. Now, come on, we don't want to be late, now do we?" Alice asked, smiling at Julius and myself in turn.

_Kind of_, I thought sourly, as I followed Alice and Julius out of the Tower.

The walk to the Castle was in dead silence. _I wonder if Alice is as nervous as me_. I shook my head, shaking the thought away. _What does she have to be nervous about? She always looks amazing in dresses- she's obviously grown up in them. I also don't remember Boris ever obsessing over a girl before Alice_, I thought miserably. _Okay, time to face it- this is going to be a complete disaster!_

The time loop was evening- and, as we neared the Castle, I felt that, for once, the time was _perfect_. The Castle's beauty was magnificent, but was enhanced with preparation for the ball, along with the dying day. _The setting is perfect... let's hope the day finishes out that way!_

"Alice! Katelynn!"

I glanced up, and grinned. Boris was heading towards us, waving. When he joined us, and I was still grinning stupidly, he glared at me. "You got something to say?"

I tilted my head, still grinning. "You look handsome in a tux, Boris." I teased.

"Shut up." He spat in the same teasing manner. "This _thing_ is so uncomfortable."

"I have to agree with Katelynn, Boris. You do look good." Alice smiiled, and Boris blushed.

"Aww, thanks, Alice!"

I narrowed my eyes, _he's a sucker for her_.

"Tch! Katelynn's gonna be dancing with Peter tonight... who would've thought?" Boris grinned, scratching his cheek.

Thinking of Peter, I blushed, and bowed my head, and didn't say anything.

"Don't be so quick to tease her tonight, Cat- you don't know how close Alice and myself came to having to drag her here." Julius commented, frowning.

"Ah! Really? I thought you'd be excited! Wow..." Boris trailed off.

"Sounds familiar." Julius muttered under his breath.

"Well- while I really enjoy hanging out with you guys, I'm going to steal Alice away. 'Kay, bye!" Boris cried, as he grasped Alice and led her away.

Julius seemed uneasy. "I'll..." He glanced away from me. "I'll stay with you until Peter comes. It should be soon, but still..." Julius shrugged.

His words, though meant to appear, only added to my fear. _What if Peter ditches me tonight? Oh, I'll be so humiliated, and Julius'll be here to witness it, and- agh!_ I thought frantically, as I started blushing and cupped my face in my terror.

"Are you-" Julius started.

"Katelynn!" Peter cried, and I could only stare. Peter was dressed in a white tux with a red tie. _Why am I so surprised? He_ is _the white rabbit!_

"Ah, Peter, decided to show up finally.." Julius muttered sharply.

"Hm? Am I late? Pardon me!" Peter exclaimed, and glanced at me fearfully. Then, his face brightened. "Katelynn, you look so beautiful, tonight!"

I blushed ferociously. "Ah, uh, no, not really, uh, thank you, though!" I stammered, though it only made Peter smile wider.

Peter extended his hand, and I took hold of it gently. "Shall we dance?"

I glanced at Julius, at first afraid to leave him alone. Julius just nodded, and I turned back to an expectant Peter. "Let's."

Peter grinned as we held hands and he led me out into a throng of people. _Everyone's dressed beautifully!_ I noted the different hairstyles of the faceless and noticed that each of the territories workers were here, too.

Peter slipped one hand around my waist, and the other continued to hold my hand. Fear arose quickly within me- it had been at least five years since I had last danced. I was hoping that the few years of dance lessons when I was little was still in my blood. I'd just die if I were to step on Peter's feet.

"You seem nervous." Peter commented, as we whirled around the floor.

"I'm afraid I'm going to mess up." I admitted. _Am I really that easy to read?_

"You're doing just fine." Peter leaned in, and breathed into my ear.

Just the idea of Peter being so close was enough to send shivers down my spine. _Why is he able to do this to me?_

We danced to several more songs, and I began to feel tired. On the contrary, I didn't want to stop dancing. I feared that if I did, Peter would disappear and this wonderful night would be over.

After but one song that I thought that, Peter suggested we take a break. He wanted to get some air- with all of the moving bodies, it _had_ gotten a bit warm within the Castle. Peter manuevered throughout the mass of people with ease, as he guided me, holding my hand.

The moment we exited the Castle a fresh, cool breeze invited us. "Ah... it feels good to be out of there." Peter commented sighing in content.

I leaned against the wall of the Castle and smiled. _I don't care where I am, as long as you are with me, Peter... _ I would never verbally say that, of course.

Peter neared me, smiling. "Are you glad you came, Katelynn?"

I returned the smile, though I felt mine could not measure the beauty of his own. "I am. I'm having alot of fun."

Peter placed both of his hands just above my shoulders, barracading me between him and the wall. "P-Peter?" I cried in surprise.

Again, Peter pressed his lips against my ear. "Can I kiss you, Katelynn?"

His question made my entire frame shake- my spine shivering against the hard Castle wall. _Why would I say no- how can I say yes? Just kiss me, d-mmit! _ I thought frantically. However, I was able to manage a curt nod. That was all Peter needed, though, and in a moment, his lips were against mine.

Peter dropped his hands from the wall, grabbing hold of my waist, and pulled me close to him. While I wanted badly to enjoy the kiss, I couldn't. My heart was pounding in fear in doing something stupid, as I had never been kissed before. My instincts told me to comb my hands through his hair- yet I was far too shy to do something- to do anything.

When Peter pulled away, I felt embarassed. _I'm so stupid!_ If Peter wasn't right there, I would have either smacked myself or slammed my head against the wall. "I- uh, the dance is ending!" I exclaimed, as I saw people leaving the Castle from the main entrance.

"So it seems." Peter commented, frowning. He grabbed my hand. "I'll help you find Alice and the clock maker."

As Peter and I entered the Castle, Peter guided us while I became lost in thought. _Alice... Peter, do you still love her? Will you always love her? ...Am I still in last place? I'm still so confused..._

"Katelynn! Peter!" I broke out of my thoughts to see Boris calling to us, already with Julius, and Alice close to his side, of course.

"I guess the party's over." Boris pouted.

"I reckon so." Peter nodded.

"Well, I'm exhausted. I, for one, am heading back to the Clock Tower." Julius turned, but not without glancing at me and Alice.

As we started to follow, Boris and Peter called to us. "I can walk you guys to-"

"No." Julius snapped, guiding myself and Alice away from Peter and Boris.

_Julius must really want to get back to the Tower! Or maybe just get away from Boris and Peter..._ I pondered over which was more likely, and while lost in my thoughts, I lost sight of Julius and Alice.

Glancing around quickly, I found myself lost in the woods. _But, how can this be? I was just at the Castle!_

Suddenly, something cool, metallic, and round was pressed against the back of my head. Not gently, either- in moments, my head surrounding the area of the unknown object was throbbing. While I waited for the mysterious, and no doubt dangerous, stranger to tell me what he wanted, a door appeared in front of me.

"I want you to walk through that door, and forget all abou this place... okay?" A voice demanded.

"W-what? B-but... But why?" I stammered, and squeezed my eyes shut, fearing he would pull the trigger- the object was undoubtedly a gun. _Never talk back to someone who holds a gun to your head!_

"Just _do it_, or I'll shoot you." The voice threatened.

_Is that a threat, or a promise?_ I pondered, and took a deep breath. I grabbed hold of the doorknob, and opened the door. Bright, white light poured out toward me, and I shielded my eyes. _Where is this going to take me?_

"What are you waiting for? Go!"

Without a second thought, I walked into the light.


End file.
